Friday 6 January 2012

Dreaded Friday

So its friday and my friend is going back to university tomorrow which means she wants us all to go out drinking (not to mention the pre drinking) Can i do 8pm till 1am drinking? on a very empty stomach, havent even got anyfood from the whole week!

Also dont really want to be drinking as of the calories, this is one giant mistake. But i cant refuse to miss another friends send off party as being seen in public and drinking is really NOT what i want to be doing...Could i have diet cokes and pretend there alcoholic? Whats the lowest calorie drink?

suppose i could just go into overboard and do the horrible thing of drink drink drink, eat those cheesy chips from the kebab van that always make me sick and purge it all up? Will it have all soaked into my system by then? will there be any point?

OH WHY CANT I JUST STAY IN!

Just taking 1 apple with mee today-cutting it up small and nibble throughout the day. and then have a my ham sandwich for dinner befor i go out (attempt to soak some alcohol up)

2 glasses of wine and ill be dying and have to be picked up... Might do half the night.

On a completly different note is it just me or when A guy says to a normal girl 'you look gorgeous' they get all happy and full of self confidence for the day. But this morning he said to me 'you look gorgeous' and i just wanted to yell and say why are you lying, how could you think this is pretty? Then i feel bad for thinking that and wonder where all my self confidence went! Can i not appreciate one compliment? can i not allow myself the satisfaction of feeling pretty for 1 minute...Guess not.

Oh well, onward to my goal - thats the only thing i truley care about anymore.

Glad whoever has stumbled across my page is there, even if nobody is reading this. Writing it all out makes me feel not so alone.

Thanks, x

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