Tuesday 19 March 2013

New thinspo

126.6lbs this morning... I really liked it! Almost there!!!

Not eating is getting easier, around will it's hard, he obviously wants to eat and I'm 'fixed' to him ... So happy smiles and eat away with him.

Obviously I still get hungry so I decide... Ok ill go make food myself. I don't have so much of a battle as before which is soooo nice. But I'm loving the weightless. Loving people notice.

Just need skinnier

Check out Diana Melison
Peeerffecccttttttt - wish I was her... Watch her YouTube videos all the time to keep motivated

Hope your all doing ok

-love C
Xxxxxxxx

Wednesday 13 March 2013

:(

Im Sad 
Im Unhappy
Im Scared

All i want to do is go to my mummy and cry in her Arms. 

Nothing is working out for me. 

My boyfriend is struggling with me because hes stressing over money

I have none. 

He has none because he is having to pay for everything
Dog
Food
Me
Him
Petrol 
Drinks
Entertainment

I need help
I want to treat him
I need to treat hiim

Show him that he is appreciated
But how can you do this with no money

All this stress is killing me - Making me starve myself

All this stress is killing him

Putting a very big toll on the relationship
I want us to be back to perfect
When he is happy im happy

But how can we be happy?
Unless i come into a VERY big lump of money! 

- A very depressed C

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Monday 18 February 2013

My Explanation



So I thought i owed you all an explanation as to where i have been.. 

I keep getting little email notifications of comments left on here, so i still get them and i still read them. 

The Man and i are still living on Cloud nine, But with my decision to finally tell my secret came a price. 

That price was that i cant keep doing what i was without having a ball and chain ear ache. 
It was alot easier than i thought with having him LOVE every single thing about me. 

He may not constantly say he loves me or that he thinks im amazing bla bla, but as soon as he goes out with the guys or i go out etc thats when i need it most and thats when i get it without asking 'Do you Love me?' 

Hes perfect for me. and so in return i want to be perfect for him. 
No i dont stuff my face with chocolate.
Not i dont eat Mcdonalds everyday
I still eat small portions, 
I still try to skip on meals but i eat enough to maintain. 

Unfortunatly i have a Ganglion Cyst in my foot so im not allowed to do exercise or run about etc so i had to momentarily hold on the gym. 
Trust me i hate it. 

So my weight varies day to day as im loosing the muscle and its turning into the fat. So my weight may still be 130lbs but in my mind im looking bigger. 

I hope that you are all doing well. 

I still have my ultimate goal of 125lbs and i will get there. 

ONLY 5lbs away 

i went from a high bmi to on the verge of unhealthy/healthy. 
18.5bmi and my god it feels good. 

I just dont look unhealthy. 

I WANT people to see me and think OMG she must have so much self control. 
Not 'oh you cant tell she eats mcdonalds!'

Ill try and post every so often. 
I just feel like im doing something really naughty now by continuing to write. 

Missing you girls 
<3 

Love C
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx