The Truth.

 

And the Winner is ..... WinterA

(btw that picture is because im talking about men and well alcide from true blood is super hot)

ME-  Decided against being a fb friend then? Fair enough. See you around x

A- my girlfriend went mental that i added you so i kind of have to. even though weve never actually spoken. sorry x

Winter was correct that it was the girlfriend. 

Another strange thing that happend (things seem to come in 3's with me)

My ex boyfriend from school turned around and said i go for jerks but thats not all i attract as hes changed now and he likes me likes me. 

Wtf its been like 3-4 years since we dated.

Also found out R and his mates decided to get hold of him on a night out i said hi as i havent seen him in time as he goes to uni up in wales. and say oh btw this is C's Boyfriend. Wtf!? Jealous much. Cant stand jealous people/ 

R was once talking to his ex called me over and i left saying i dont want to get to know her but i have no problem you too catching up. I know hes mine and i trust him. Same with him talking to girls on fb or in the pub/club.

And then R was in an full on mood last night. 

If i got a penny for every kiss i got during the night that woke me up id be rich. I was trying to sleep while he got ready for work and hes sat there pecking at my face! He said im the one in a mood because i didnt cuddle in my sleep. He just answered himself....i was asleep! How the heck am i ment to have a brain when sleeping??! 

So thats my come in 3. I want some retail therapy!

-Love C

xxxxxxxxx

Gym Update

So i went to the gym and he was there. 

he had 'poked' me on facebook and has liked EVERY status i have written. Commented back etc. 

Come home from the gym to find that he has unfriended me.  I only noticed because on my timeline its in big letters it said we were friends and now its gone. I hadnt deleted him so im guessing he has.

Im just super super confused as to why!

Im not bothered as to the fact he did it. Im jsut one of those people that like to know the whole story.

Im fed up of people talking to me one second then deleting me on facebook the next.

All i can think of is R.

He added a guy once who added me...only know this as the guy pm'd me asking why he added him and what he should do. 

Has R done this and written some warning? Was that why he REALLY didnt want me on his phone last night to search through old fb to each other to prove a point? (My phone is shit for internet so i use his all the time)

Argh i just really want to know. 

humf.

-Love C

xxxxx

138.4

So ive been ill and i would have though my weight would go down more than that but hey ho ... cant get everything you wish for ey! 

So not much has gone on in my life...Except i was in the gym on Monday and as you do, while your bored on the cross trainer(elliptical) staring into space, you stare into space across to all the guys in the weights section. 

Well Tuesday i had a friend request. Didnt know who it was. Have one mutual friend and i dont even know that mutual friend. But i recognised him. Hes the very muscular, Very beautifull Gym guy i stare at. 

He must have searched MY name out of the sign in book. Which means he was paying attention to when i was leaving and well in general me. 

He has a girlfriend too. Or so says facebook. 

Why would he add me. I've only ever stared at him gormlessly. 

Guessing he has stared back at me! 

Im excited for my next visit to the gym but sort of scared to go. I dont want to be sweating it out if hes there paying attention to me. 

I dont like that im liking the attention from some other guy. 

Couldnt have come at a worse time as R is being very very Clingy as he thinks im going to run off. and doing that he will hug me just a little too tight and squeeze me, and has got into a habbit of holding my arms down to make out with me to the extent that hes crushing my wrists. He will hug me and put HIS leg over me ... Just be the clingy girlfriend. he's spoiling me with gifts as if hes trying to buy me. He said he was too ill Wednesday to see me and that he was jut going to sleep. So i said my friend was going to come over and keep me company ana tada hes feeling 10x better and wants to come over. WTF. you cant be jealous of a female friend.

See not the best time for somebody to be paying me attention. Specially not somebody beautifull. Thank god this guy has a girlfriend.

My fabulous perdicament. 

Could never break up with R though....I honestly think he would kill himself if i left.

-Love C

xxxxxxxx

138.8lbs 

So i havent posted in a while, no its not because ive been away again. 

Ive been in my little town doing nothing...well not nothing. Ive been stuffing my face. 

So i havent wanted to post as ive been ever soo ashamed. But im now back into the 130's and I SHALL NOT get back into the 140's

Im back at the gym now. 

45mins Cross Trainer/elliptical (Whatever you want to call it)

5 Mins Wobble Machine. <-- LOVE THAT THING
 

Breakfast- Nothing

Lunch - 1/2 pack Spanish cherry tomatoes

Dinner - 2 Charlotte Pots

Small dipping bread in aviolli 

Small dipping bread with penut butter

Crisp Sandwich :(

But hey i still lost so fingers crossed for more losses. 

And seeing as ive been eating like a pig recently the weight should fall off. 

Ive realised i havent been loosing and when i do its because im drinking lots of water. So im back on my 2 litres of water thing. I can have a mini pig out as long as i have the water!!! 

and doing that i dont seem to have to much of a gain so yes. JUT DRINK WATER! 

how have all of y'all been doing?

Fingers crossed not failing like me. 

Ive been really terrible with reading blogs aswell. - SORRY!

But i will read as many as i can but i think ill only go back a day as i dont have enough time! 

Again sorry for abandoning you all. 

-Love C

xxxxxx

Cookie Monster

Firstly a BIG BIG BIG thank you to everyone who commented on my last post. 

Really helps knowing that you all know and understand what im going through and that your always here supporting me! 

However...............

Yesterday my car broke down :( 

Thats not all. 

It broke down outside Tesco! 

Thats not all. 

Due to the stress of having your car thickly smoke i bought stress food.

Crisps, Sausage roll, COOKIES. 

Thats not all. 

Mother picked me up and took me to hers. 

What happened when i got to hers?

SHE FED ME ALL THIS JUNK FOOD SHE WANTED TO GET RID OF.

Ive never eaten so much food in my life. 

On the pluss side though im craving tomatoes and fruit :) 

This never happens but maybe its a side of me trying to fight back and say they dont want to wake up in the morning and see 141 on the scales they want to see 131.

I can do this.

WE can do this! 

Who's with me?

Lets start with 1 week. If we make sure we eat our 5 a day fingers crossed by the time we have finished that we wont want any crap of normal foood.

5portions a day of either fruit or veg. 

:D

Stay strong

-Love C

xxxxxxxx

FUCK....my life

So Friday i didnt eat untill the evening around 7.30 when R presented me with half a pizza. NOM! 

friday hangover cure breakfast - Full english then dinner was 3 slices of pizza again. 

Not to mention the burger while in the club and the LARGE big mac meal before the taxi home. 

Then the hangover cure lunch. 

Oh and the x2 crisp sandwiches.

On my period and i put two patches together so im having a major one were everything is 10x worse. Pains, sore booobies :( Everything. 

so im just eating and eating and eating. So hello 4lbs gained. 

FUCK MY LIFE. 

Going to eat as little as i can today. Just do a nice cleanse to start again. no food in the house anyway. If im hungry its just tough.

So this morning i was 142lbs

I really hate my life :( 

Just never want to eat again. 

A friend none of us have seen in forever because she just lives with her boyfriend ... and she just turned around and said 'not going to lie, have you put on weight' I was honestly about to punch her in the face. everyone is saying youve lost sooo much weight recently. Stop loosing weight etc and i havent spoken or seen her in MONTHS and she says ive put weight on. She can lick my hairy fucking nine! 

she pissed us all off. 

Just snidey comments. ergh. 

Hate girls like her. She dislikes the fact that were all soo close and have private jokes etc. Not our fault she never comes out anymore. 

I wish though when somebody said i was fat id go purge and stop eating but no. I have to stuff my face. 

Right rant over however much i would like to carry on. 

Stay strong

<3

-Love C

x

 

Battle to be thin

138.6lbs 

im very happy with the loss as i had a HUGE portion of pasta salad. 

Made enough to be for lunch or dinner today and well, i ate it all. 

Then the cinema to see Prometheus. 

Popcorn.

I was sooo nervous from everyone telling me it was scary that i comfort ate the whole thing. 

Turns out it wasnt scary atall.

so to loose is pretty awsome. 

Did do an hour of stomp though which is good high intensity workout. 

Dont you wish that you could be this skinny?

I just want to be there now. So skinny that everything feels good on. 

I can put something on and know i dont look fat. 

I can sit down without haviung to worry about fat over rolls. 

I dont have to worry about my navel piercing being pulled in every directing as its in my fat roll. 

I just wont have to worry. 

8.6lbs untill im at 130. 

GW #4 

I can do this because i want this. 

I want my frail hair back that was soo volumised because it was so thin, dry and falling out that it would stay put. I know it sounds impossible but for some reason it happens. 

i want it back ... i want it all back!

 

(^^when times were simpler and food wasnt a daily battle^^)

-Love C

x

Follow Up

Weight: 138.8lbs

Height: 5'10.5 (to be exact)

Sex: Female

Age: 19 and 357days :D 

Ultimate goal: To be skinny weighing 125lbs

Food intake yesterday

Breakfast: Nothing

Lunch: 2 croissants 360cals

Dinner: 2 cheese sandwiches 332cals

Total:692cals

Exercise: Big fat Zero

Every day that England is raining heavily I want to book a plane ticket and fly the hell away from this miserable country. 

Its true that in rainy miserable weather your more inclined to comfort eat as there is nothing you can do outside. 

When its hot and sunny you dont want a nice english breakfast or something hot, you want nice refreshing fruit or more likley a bottle of water! 

I want to leave, i want to go do a season, i want to travel. 

Atleast my wieght is going down. Give me something more to eat and it will go flying up i bet. 

Actually going back to the gym tonight. Stomp FX class. 

KILLER. 

I dont even know how to make my posts more interesting ... Tell you all a secret?

You already know the biggest secret in my life.

Im poor, i have no money. Thats a lie i have £12- for the rest of the month to pay for petrol which i need atleast £60 to get to work and back for the rest of the month. 

In other words im screwed.

-Love C

xxxxxxxxxxx

My big FAT Weekend

Still 140 lbs

I guess its better to maintain with the amount of shit ive been eating.

So i was at the jack wills Varsity Polo this weekend.

it was great fun, but alot of snack junk food was eaten and mcdonalds on the way home, Crisp sandwich when i get to R's and Chicken balls and Chips for dinner.

Ive realised that my eating is soooo unhealthy and fatty and seeing as ive been maintaining. Now im back to my restricting it should be ok and the weight should drop off like it did at the beginning and when i come back off holidays.

Im Doing a big lunch (not that its actually goin to be big, A sandwich or something and then something healthy and small for dinner.

A baby pouch or salad.

i will loose this weight.

I have a clubbing night out on Saturday also for my birthday but for the people who couldnt make it to jack wills and for the ones were jack wills was too 'posh' for them.

i have a family lunch that day too so if i eat that then something very small in the evening before i start drinking it should be ok.  then if i stick to vodka orange, sex on the beach or malibu and diet coke. (anything with diet coke) i shouldnt put on too much and it shouldnt be so much of a disaster :)

Who's ready to loose the unwanted pounds this week?

Stay strong and think Thin.

<3

-Love C
x

 

After Shock

really sorry i didnt post yesterday i had to go with my friend to hospital as she was in alot of pain. 

Bacterial infection, Urine infection and a ripped cervix! 

OUCH. 

No wonder she was in pain. 

So the magical number youve all been waiting to hear. 

I should have taken bets on what my boozing holiday did to my weight.

140.2lbs 

:) 

Im soo  happy with that from the amount i ate. 

Burger king, pizza hut, alot of baguettes and bread. Burgers, steak. 

not to mention to alcohol calories! 

I guess sweating it out and all the walking helped! 

5th floor and the elevators smelt of wee or had sick in them so it was always stairs.

Back to my healthy eating now and seeing as im used to eating normal i guess as soon as i go back to my minimal the weight will fall off me like a fat pair of jeans! 

Jack Wills Varsity Polo tomorrow. 

Always go for my birthday. 

20years old on the 20th June. 

I CANNOT be fat in all my pictures. I know im going to be huge in JWVP ones but i cant exactly cut weight off in a day! Talk about the impossible! 

So 10 days ... a pound ish a day. I can be 136 for my birthday, i will be SOOOO happy. :)

Lets start.

Whos with me?

Stay Strong and Think Thin. 

-Love C

xxxxxxxxx

(Just a bit of feather tatto thinspo <3)

Alot of people have the feather tatto on there rib! Guess i must have a common brain/imagination! 

Enjoy 

<3

MAGALLUF

Weight : Who knows

Alcohol Consumed : Who Kows - im probably still drunk

Food Consumed: Lunch and dinner everyday

Puked: 0 times

Toilet: I LIVED ON THAT THING

So as you can see from the above picture i had a pretty wild time! 

Oh i got my first tattoo.

Probably not the best place to get it as i know spain dont have the same rules and regulations. 

I swear it wasnt real as i hear the stories about it hurting and i had mine right on my ribs. 

TICKLED LIKE HELL. 

the guy had to keep telling me to stop laughing.

 In its clingfilm and its a bit flakey at the moment so when its healed ill take a better picture for y'all. 

I got the feather to resemble 'free spirit' as i do everything myself. Moved out at 18, LOVE getting out the country. 

Holiday number 4 in August! and might be heading back to Maga in July!

i love that more people are finding my site so HELLO 

:) 

Ill be stepping on the scales tomorrow morning ... AHHH IM SO SCARED :( 

probably gained a Stone! 

sorry this post is a bit here there and everywere but im ever so tired, swear im still drunk or experienceing alcohol withdrawals. 

was up super early from work this morning and its just turned 3 so HOME TIME. 

ill post again with the news tomorrow.

-Love C

xxxxxxxx