Too Happy

134lbs

Travelled down to Windsor again last night. 

Last time ill be doing that trip - Just think of the petrol ill save! 

stopped off at the services and got a ham and cheese pastie.....I DONT EVEN LIKE THEM. 

Will was sooooooo perfect last night. 

Going on about how i was the best looking girl there and how it hasnt sunk in that im his girlfriend because its too good to be true. 

I dont know why he thinks he doesnt deserve me etc etc. Hes soooo much better than me. 

He's in general a better person, better looking, better job, better at everything. 

I want him soooo much. 

SO back to the main topic - FOOD

Im eating far to much/little of it. 

Im living off SF Relentless and a bag of crisps for lunch 

go home and if i eat its either something so small like a sandwich or Will and i will go big and have realllly unhealthy food. 

Like yesterday big bar of galaxy between us and a mcdonalds! 

i need to get back to my 500cals a day and exercise. 

5'10.5 and 134lbs 

BMI: 19.0

I want a bmi of 18.5 so i need to loooose 3-4lbs

I still have fat on me, its starting to go on my bellly. 

OOOooooo i wore the Unitard last night. 

When the pictures from the night go up ill post one even though i dont think its a full length.... 

If not ill take a piccy in it....

Hope your alll doing well. 

Lots of Love

- C

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Tired, Hungry, Confused

135.0 lbs today

Chicken nuggets and chips last night. 

I was driving back from Windsor at 2am missed my turning and added an extra hour to my already 50minute journey -_-

I dont know how but i was livid at the time so got some food, pulled over in a layby and ate. 

STRESSED

Turns out Satnav was just being a knob. 

 So Will's best friend said the same thing to me again last night when i popped to his bar with a friend 'I know will and i give it 2 weeks, he will get bored of you' Thank god my friend was there to hear it because she didnt believe it when i told her the first time becase of the way he is around me. 

I told Will that i dont want him to get bored of me and that im not in it for the short run - i do realllllly like him :) 

He said that he's just jealous and yes hes never really been in a relationship and that he used to sleep with girls for fun, but he doesnt want that ever since the moment he saw me. Which was over a month ago now and we have been seeing each other all that time - Sooo whats going to change from 'seeing' each other were we made an agreement not to sleep with other people etc from the beginning and being in a relationship?

George has given the relationship 2 weeks and Shane 3. 

Shane has only done it becuse he knows im a jealous person and also knows the amount of women who go up to will on a night out asking for sex etc. -_-

Will said in 1 week (which will make it 2 weeks) the only thing that will happen is that we will know each other 1 week better :D 

Ahhh hes got a way with words that boy. 

I obviously dont like alll these girls coming up to him but what can i do about it-Hes not running the Windsor night soon, just up north so all those posh rich sluts can fuck off. 

Then just to deal with the girls up here who work with us both and seem to quit when they find out im with him! 

I need to get in control of my eating. It seems to be the only thing i can control right now - this is the reason i said i didnt want to be in a relationship because i get jealous and ive told him the reason why it seems im closed off sometimes is becuase i dont want to put myself completly out there straight away if hes going to trade me in for a better model that comes along and offers him 3 ways - 4 ways. (yes on a night out he has been offered a 4 way straight up) 

The only thing thats keeping me comfort is that he comes back to mine - and when he gets his new place im probably going to have a mental break down! 

I want this guy sooo much, hes met every memeber of my family, been to dinner ive met his dad and brother. Not yet the sister and mum. But for me it usually takes months before i introduce them to my parents - this is how much i like him and things are sooo different. Its intense its fast and i like him tooooo much! 

Keep telling myself its not love it's lust. 

Mainly because it is. 

Im infactuated with this boy! 

-Love,

Tired, Hungry and Confused C

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Back bra fat

Goodmorning Bloggers

Ive recently done some asos shopping but really worried. 

I was out in Windsor shopping 

(are you seeing a pattern here? Im a shopperholic)
anyway - I was out shopping for a new outfit to go out that night (bearing in mind im already in debt)

Found a ton of really nice playsuits and dresses etc. 

Size 10 are too big and look silly, yet size 8's are just a little tooo tight on my belly

I am sooooo bloated latly due to eating crap - 135lbs

OOOO and im official with Will

:D

Said  to him im going back to the gym so he will have to be bored at my house a little bit longer as i leave him home alone while i come to work..

But he wants to come with me - Im ok with this, All i do is the elliptical so not toooo bothered. cant do anything else due to my cyst in my foot. 

So back to the main point of this blog - i wonder off way too easily.

I bought this: 

 

Got it in a size 8 as i thought you want it to be tight etc and when i buy leggings i get a 8 so figers crossed it fits. 

But im really worried that im going to have back overhang over all of the straps on the back. 

And i dont know what to do about a bra as im not flat chested like the woman in the picture - Im a 32DD and the gell stick on backless bra's only go to a D -_-

I should start a fashion blog of all the outfits i buy. and shove together. Im going out enough. 

Might do that when i have some time on my hands but as Will is technically homeless and did live in Windsor and im Northamptonshire he is pratically living with me. 

This realtionship is going to kill me. As hes an Event manager for nightclubs alot of girls want him. Even the girls who work for him at the club i work for go up to him saying they like him and want him bla bla bla and then QUIT when they find out were together. Its crazy especially when the girls are my work friends to!

In the club the other night and a girl ran over ad jumped on him and wrapped her legs around him. His brother leaned over to me and said 'how do you put up with that?' I simply reply, I dont but i dont have a choice- its going to happen if im happy or not about it.

Got a realllly Sweet text from him randomly the otherday when he went back to his friends bar and i carried on shopping...

' When I'm not with you I miss everything about you, even that cheey little grin.. Your doing it now!!! Stoppp grinning...stopppp!! You've made me so happy all i can say is thank you miss dixon :) I hope this continues and ill do everything in my power to make you happy xxxxxxx'

^^ How sweet is that^^ 

Ahhhhhh :)

well i think ive bored you enough with this post sooo till next time 

Love C

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Money

Dont you hate the fact how money runs your life?

It dicates your mood just as much as weight. 

No money to go out and enjoy yourself = Bad mood

No money to buy food = Good and bad mood

Enough money to buy lots of yummy fruits and salad bits = Good mood

No money to buy your junk food = VERY BAD MOOD <3

134 this morning. 

Buuuutttttt i didnt get home untill 3.30am 

Drove from Windsor back up nooorth after a night out. 

(well the guy im seeing is an event manager up north and down south, so went with him)

Starving hungry from only having an apple and a bag of crisps all day - I would have gone without but honestly thought i was going to pass out in the club! 

So asked them to pick me up some chicken nuggets and they didnt have any so they bought me a chicken Kebab. 

First time i have ever had one and i can safely say i will never ever EVER have one again. 

ERGH./ 

So that was about 2.30am and waking up early etc no time to digest go through my system and not enough sleep. 

So as i dont have an overdraft i have to pay for borrowing money. This month its £125.00 ONTOP of what i already owe the bank from borrowing. :( 

So i just had a binge on food. Comfort food. 

But not i feel fat urgh and just really want to climb into a big ball in bed. 

I dont get it, the number says i should be skinny but im not! 

I need to do what i did at the beginning of August that got me down from 142 to 132. 

SF Red bull and Apples for lunch and salad for dinner. EVERY day with exercise. 

I want to be 125 or lower. i need to be skinny. i need to have an unexpected picture taken and actually look good any angle!

On the pluss not. Fit a size 8 dont I! Shame i dont look it.

-Love C

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Remember me - Life Update

133.fuck knows lbs

So I know ive dissapeard for a bit, but im just really busy. 

My weight has stayed at 133 for ages. Either my scales are broken or im stuck in some stupid plateau but im planning on getting out of it this week. 

Im seeing all these pictures of me and im just seeing fat plumpy urgh girl. 

I need to be 125lbs now. I need to get there 3lbs is not going to make the difference so i need to get to my UGW. 

So thats me above on the far right. 

BEING SOAKED IN CHAMPAGNE. 

Who says im not having a good time? 

Im loving life, its jsut turned into a massive party after rich and ive met an AMAZING guy :) 

He makes me happy. Hes nothing like R. 

Hes younger (not 27years old - actually my age!)

he is compatable with me, and we have such a good time. Actually him in the above picture coating me in champagne...Think thats a hobby of his covering me in a alcohol haha. 

Ill try and keep you all updated as much as i can. 

Plan for today. SF Relentless and Apples <3

Hope your all well?

-Love C

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