Wishes and dreams

To have the 'gaunt look' 

To sit up and just have one skin roll ... Not fat

To lie down and be able to see straight down your pants as your hips bones stick out so much

To be able to see the whole of your spine when you bend forward

To see your ribs on your back. 

To be able to see the full length of your collar bone

To have your chest bones showing

To have that flat stomach

To have that gap between your legs.

To wear those size 8 shorts and for them to look to big

To have that hunger pang that means your not bloated

To have that pang that means your on  the right lines

to have that pang that means your getting thinner

to have that pang that means you will get your goal

For the girls to be jealous

for the guys to want you to be thiers

For everyone to see the control you have

For everyone to see your strong

9 hours awake today. 

0 cals consumed

I will get what i want.

 

Keeping My Promise

So im keeping my promise that i would upload a picture.

I know im not usally one to blur out my face etc but its got W in it and so thought it best! 

The image is awfull and you cant really see the outfit soo tonight im going to get myself into it and take a picture of it on my camera and upload it for you. So you will either get it this afternoon or early morning :) 

my weight is slowly going up and i need it to go down. 

BUT

My card has declined from being sooo far into my overdraft (i dont have an overdraft or limit) that they have actually said enough! 

Ooopps

So cant afford food petrol anything sooooo my weight should platuea for a day or two getting used to being back into starvation mode and then it will start to go down again. 

Im getting back into the gym now. I WILL go tonight. Got my friend whos going to join me so thats a bit of extra motivation! 

 

Im now working 3 jobs as of the 1st october to try and pay for stuff. These other two are two days each both cash in hand so it will give me about 100 a week cash. 

 

But that will mean my october month is fine but then my hours go down at my main job so ill be working that 3 days -_- 

 

So ill have to get the babysitting an extra day. Make my wage go up a bit more as im soo busy and im in demand from the children. (What can i say kids love me....Shame i really cant stand these two kids)

 

And fingers crossed the nightclub gets a third night also that i can work on tills with or something. That would be reallly good. 

 

My addiction to energy drinks isnt going anywhere soon. 

I have to have atleast 1 can of energy drink to feel fine in the mornign otherwise i will be rocking what feels like a hangover untill i have one. 2 days of thinking i had a hangover untill i crached open a can of SF Monster. 3 sips in, headache had gone. I no longer felt like i was going to crash or be sickl. I instantly felt £1000000 pounds.

 

Now to get that much money! 

 

Will try and post pictures later. 

 

Love to you alll <3

 

-C

 

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Too Happy

134lbs

Travelled down to Windsor again last night. 

Last time ill be doing that trip - Just think of the petrol ill save! 

stopped off at the services and got a ham and cheese pastie.....I DONT EVEN LIKE THEM. 

Will was sooooooo perfect last night. 

Going on about how i was the best looking girl there and how it hasnt sunk in that im his girlfriend because its too good to be true. 

I dont know why he thinks he doesnt deserve me etc etc. Hes soooo much better than me. 

He's in general a better person, better looking, better job, better at everything. 

I want him soooo much. 

SO back to the main topic - FOOD

Im eating far to much/little of it. 

Im living off SF Relentless and a bag of crisps for lunch 

go home and if i eat its either something so small like a sandwich or Will and i will go big and have realllly unhealthy food. 

Like yesterday big bar of galaxy between us and a mcdonalds! 

i need to get back to my 500cals a day and exercise. 

5'10.5 and 134lbs 

BMI: 19.0

I want a bmi of 18.5 so i need to loooose 3-4lbs

I still have fat on me, its starting to go on my bellly. 

OOOooooo i wore the Unitard last night. 

When the pictures from the night go up ill post one even though i dont think its a full length.... 

If not ill take a piccy in it....

Hope your alll doing well. 

Lots of Love

- C

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Remember me - Life Update

133.fuck knows lbs

So I know ive dissapeard for a bit, but im just really busy. 

My weight has stayed at 133 for ages. Either my scales are broken or im stuck in some stupid plateau but im planning on getting out of it this week. 

Im seeing all these pictures of me and im just seeing fat plumpy urgh girl. 

I need to be 125lbs now. I need to get there 3lbs is not going to make the difference so i need to get to my UGW. 

So thats me above on the far right. 

BEING SOAKED IN CHAMPAGNE. 

Who says im not having a good time? 

Im loving life, its jsut turned into a massive party after rich and ive met an AMAZING guy :) 

He makes me happy. Hes nothing like R. 

Hes younger (not 27years old - actually my age!)

he is compatable with me, and we have such a good time. Actually him in the above picture coating me in champagne...Think thats a hobby of his covering me in a alcohol haha. 

Ill try and keep you all updated as much as i can. 

Plan for today. SF Relentless and Apples <3

Hope your all well?

-Love C

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