Keeping My Promise

So im keeping my promise that i would upload a picture.

I know im not usally one to blur out my face etc but its got W in it and so thought it best! 

The image is awfull and you cant really see the outfit soo tonight im going to get myself into it and take a picture of it on my camera and upload it for you. So you will either get it this afternoon or early morning :) 

my weight is slowly going up and i need it to go down. 

BUT

My card has declined from being sooo far into my overdraft (i dont have an overdraft or limit) that they have actually said enough! 

Ooopps

So cant afford food petrol anything sooooo my weight should platuea for a day or two getting used to being back into starvation mode and then it will start to go down again. 

Im getting back into the gym now. I WILL go tonight. Got my friend whos going to join me so thats a bit of extra motivation! 

 

Im now working 3 jobs as of the 1st october to try and pay for stuff. These other two are two days each both cash in hand so it will give me about 100 a week cash. 

 

But that will mean my october month is fine but then my hours go down at my main job so ill be working that 3 days -_- 

 

So ill have to get the babysitting an extra day. Make my wage go up a bit more as im soo busy and im in demand from the children. (What can i say kids love me....Shame i really cant stand these two kids)

 

And fingers crossed the nightclub gets a third night also that i can work on tills with or something. That would be reallly good. 

 

My addiction to energy drinks isnt going anywhere soon. 

I have to have atleast 1 can of energy drink to feel fine in the mornign otherwise i will be rocking what feels like a hangover untill i have one. 2 days of thinking i had a hangover untill i crached open a can of SF Monster. 3 sips in, headache had gone. I no longer felt like i was going to crash or be sickl. I instantly felt £1000000 pounds.

 

Now to get that much money! 

 

Will try and post pictures later. 

 

Love to you alll <3

 

-C

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Money

Dont you hate the fact how money runs your life?

It dicates your mood just as much as weight. 

No money to go out and enjoy yourself = Bad mood

No money to buy food = Good and bad mood

Enough money to buy lots of yummy fruits and salad bits = Good mood

No money to buy your junk food = VERY BAD MOOD <3

134 this morning. 

Buuuutttttt i didnt get home untill 3.30am 

Drove from Windsor back up nooorth after a night out. 

(well the guy im seeing is an event manager up north and down south, so went with him)

Starving hungry from only having an apple and a bag of crisps all day - I would have gone without but honestly thought i was going to pass out in the club! 

So asked them to pick me up some chicken nuggets and they didnt have any so they bought me a chicken Kebab. 

First time i have ever had one and i can safely say i will never ever EVER have one again. 

ERGH./ 

So that was about 2.30am and waking up early etc no time to digest go through my system and not enough sleep. 

So as i dont have an overdraft i have to pay for borrowing money. This month its £125.00 ONTOP of what i already owe the bank from borrowing. :( 

So i just had a binge on food. Comfort food. 

But not i feel fat urgh and just really want to climb into a big ball in bed. 

I dont get it, the number says i should be skinny but im not! 

I need to do what i did at the beginning of August that got me down from 142 to 132. 

SF Red bull and Apples for lunch and salad for dinner. EVERY day with exercise. 

I want to be 125 or lower. i need to be skinny. i need to have an unexpected picture taken and actually look good any angle!

On the pluss not. Fit a size 8 dont I! Shame i dont look it.

-Love C

xxxxxxxxxxx

Dont know how weight loss works

yesterday Morning i weighed in at 140.4lbs

This morning i weighed in at 136.6lbs

I seriously dont understand.

all weekend ive been eating shit for the hell of it.

yesterday i had my standard apple youghurt banana and salad. 

That bought me waaaaaaaay down to 136. 

I guess i have to keep control today and see what happens. 

i just dont want the same to happen every single god forsaken weekend. i just need one weekend were im good. this weekend perhaps?

9th august i go away to mallorca. I WILL be 130lbs 

i dont have a choice what i eat out there, my family cook shite. perhaps ill ask for salad and fruit combinations for the duration of the holiday. 

Anyway nothing more to really fill you in on. My life is pretty tame, nothing out of the ordinarly, R and i are slowly getting back to normal. 

Gym tonight? Ill probably end up bailing again. 

-Love C

xxxxxxxxx

Small accomplishment

Ergh: 136.2lbs again

so i LOST the 0.2lbs

Tbf i did have TWO chocolate chip muffins at lunch and went to the cinema and had a diet coke so im probably bloated. 

My belly is very large at the moment. 

Also went to the cinema to see Magic Mike. 

ONLY SEE IF YOU CAN HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE HOT AFTER.

And the girls went to Mcdonalds and i had a text mentioning it so i only took £10 with me so I physically couldnt pay for it with my ticket. 

But My friend gave me a few chips and 2 chicken nuggets. 

So i had way over my limit really because of the fat and salt content in mcdonalds even if it is a small amount. So im actually kind of proud. Just need to make sure i stick to this over the weekend as this is were i fuck my life over. 

Right i need to do my make up and leave to go to the post office to collect my High Five ZERO. 

Ill let you know if it works at the gym. 

:D

Then work :( SOoooo busy there at the moment. 

well i hope you all have a great day. 

Stay strong and think skinny. 

-Love C

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Healthy Time

^^ My fridge^^

Just to state the tortellini pasta is my brothers along with the chicken and feta cheese.

So im going for a slightly higher calorie intake.

Not that it exceeds 500cals. 

Fruit for lunch/morning snack. Banana, apple, pinapple, mango.

Salad for dinner : lettuce, sweetcorn, tomato, cucumber, croutons, ham or tuna

Weight Watchers yoghurts - 54cals each! 

Carrot stick for evening snack

So yer. I had that last night and i never thought i could be full from a salad! Its strange how i ate alot of food and its sooo little in calories. (I made a big salad)

So didnt end up going to the gym...i pulled a muscle on monday and it was quite sore and didnt want to make it worse. Today its gone so no excuse. 

So my weight today id only 136.2lbs 

I think i could have gotten more if i went to the gym. 

Im so happy with this and its only a Wednesday. If i keep this up loose a pound untill Friday. i should be 134lbs roughly. And im not going out Friday and i need to be good on Saturday. And when i drink NOT to eat shit after. Im scared to drink on a salad belly though :/

Ive had lots of people asking me what the wobble machine is. 

wobble Machine Info 

that is it. 

It vibrates really quick. 

10minutes is equivilant to 1hour conventunal work out. (apparently)

it helps tone muscle and all that jazz. Also reduces cellulite and speeds up your metabolism. 

I like it after a long session on the cross trainer as it loosens my muscles so i dont feel sore the next day :) 

P.s i Ordered the zero stuff. 

41% extra fat burn here i come. 

 www.highfive.co.uk/try-zero 

Order the trial pack

- x3 tubes of zero

-x1 water bottle. 

Discount code: summer2012

Dont forget to select BFPO payment. 

They have a offer that if you ONLY buy that product you get free delivery but have to select that option. 

So instead of paying £24 odd for the stuff and £5.60 for P&P

You pay a total of £15 

40% discount baby. 

Cant wait for mine to come and get an easy ride to skinnyness. 

Skinny Together <3

-Love C

xxxxx

An Apple a Day keeps the fatness away

So over the weekend i put on quite a bit of weight ... chicken burger to cure the hangover, pizza to line the stomach, lasagne to keep me going, burger and chips to soak up the alcohol, chicken nuggets to do the same. 

140lbs Yesterday. 

137.6 Today.

Apple Diet. 

Apples suppress appetite. 

Apples are a natural laxative. 

Royal Gala apples = 43 calories each

My theory is apple diet = skinny.

Proven that it works. 

Yes i only had 2. 

 Yes i can survive on that.

Also i was reading this month's Cosmo and got a free discount booklet. 

It came with a free discount code for Zero.

They are tablets you dilute in water and its proven to burn 41% more fat when walking and exercising. 

3 tubes (10 tablets in each) and a water bottle the correct size for x1. 

I think i might try it. Only £21.40 with my discount code. 

Might worl for you guys too. 

www.highfive.co.uk/try-zero

Code: summer2012

Lets get skinny together :) 

-Love C

xxxx

Bloating

So i said to myself dont go for a diet coke at the cinema aas it will make me bloat and wont have enough time to go down before i go to bed. 

Atleast i said no to the popcorn!!! 

So woke up at 136.8lbs

Still not bad. Its no 140! so happy to be away from that number. 

I hate being bloated though. I just feel ergh all over and its not the best motivation. 

On a pluss side my legs are killing and have the bruising all over them again :) 

I love that because i used to bruise all the time when my legs actually shrunk in size. None on the thighs yet, its all on the calf. 

Another 35mins on the cross trainer (elliptical) should sort that out. 

perhaps its the fact that i didnt do much at stomp last night. I didnt quite think it through that i cant run on my foot or put pressure.Why did i think i could do a STOMP class. Which is high intensity step which you pretty much stomp your feet too. KILLER. 

so i pretty much just stood there for an hour. 

Thats why i only do crosstrainer now, only thing that doesnt kill my foot. 

You should all try the wobble machine though. 

10mins on that (the max you can do) is equal to 1hour workout. 

it increases your bloodflow so speeds up your metabolism.

reduces cellutite and tones your body. 

Only side effect is it makes you itch all over!

Lets see if i can stick away from the fizzy after 5!

Wish me luck. 

Stay Strong girls 

-Love C

xxxxx

Ahhhhhh :))))

135.7lbs

AHHHHH

im so fricking happy. 

I cant even remeber if ive got down to this weight before? 

This has honestly made my week. 

However Cinema tonight. I MUST refuse the popcorn and diet coke. Water water and more water from now on. 

Was strange as i weighed myself after the gym and was 140 etc

Weighed myself after a few hours as i was STTAAARRRVING and i was 138. 

Then just before bed i jumped on the scales when changing into pj's and i was 137. 

I LOVED it. 

I never would have guessed id be in the 135's i just hope i can stay in it tomorrow. Less would be better. But ive had a tiny pig out at lunch today. Not much but high calorie stuff.

And cinema tonight. Im very busy though. Work, Wax, Then home to change for Stomp Class, Home for quick shower then rush off to the cinema. 

So not much time to eat so fingers crossed! 

so yer, Yesterdays intake. 

Breakfast: Nil pwa

Lunch: Banana, Walkers crisps

Snack: Cucumber, Strawberrriiessss

Dinner: Bowl of weeetooos cereal.

Exercise: 35mins Crosstrailer(elliptical)

5mins Wobble Machine

random floor work.

Looking at it now...no wonder i lost weight! 

-Love C

xxxxx

The Truth.

 

And the Winner is ..... WinterA

(btw that picture is because im talking about men and well alcide from true blood is super hot)

ME-  Decided against being a fb friend then? Fair enough. See you around x

A- my girlfriend went mental that i added you so i kind of have to. even though weve never actually spoken. sorry x

Winter was correct that it was the girlfriend. 

Another strange thing that happend (things seem to come in 3's with me)

My ex boyfriend from school turned around and said i go for jerks but thats not all i attract as hes changed now and he likes me likes me. 

Wtf its been like 3-4 years since we dated.

Also found out R and his mates decided to get hold of him on a night out i said hi as i havent seen him in time as he goes to uni up in wales. and say oh btw this is C's Boyfriend. Wtf!? Jealous much. Cant stand jealous people/ 

R was once talking to his ex called me over and i left saying i dont want to get to know her but i have no problem you too catching up. I know hes mine and i trust him. Same with him talking to girls on fb or in the pub/club.

And then R was in an full on mood last night. 

If i got a penny for every kiss i got during the night that woke me up id be rich. I was trying to sleep while he got ready for work and hes sat there pecking at my face! He said im the one in a mood because i didnt cuddle in my sleep. He just answered himself....i was asleep! How the heck am i ment to have a brain when sleeping??! 

So thats my come in 3. I want some retail therapy!

-Love C

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Gym Update

So i went to the gym and he was there. 

he had 'poked' me on facebook and has liked EVERY status i have written. Commented back etc. 

Come home from the gym to find that he has unfriended me.  I only noticed because on my timeline its in big letters it said we were friends and now its gone. I hadnt deleted him so im guessing he has.

Im just super super confused as to why!

Im not bothered as to the fact he did it. Im jsut one of those people that like to know the whole story.

Im fed up of people talking to me one second then deleting me on facebook the next.

All i can think of is R.

He added a guy once who added me...only know this as the guy pm'd me asking why he added him and what he should do. 

Has R done this and written some warning? Was that why he REALLY didnt want me on his phone last night to search through old fb to each other to prove a point? (My phone is shit for internet so i use his all the time)

Argh i just really want to know. 

humf.

-Love C

xxxxx

Cigerettes

I wish my hair was still long like this. 

Going to grow it and soon the hair dye will be fully in my hair and it wont be so soft and flat! 

Main thing i hate about dying hair. 

Cigerettes is what i used to live off when i looked like this.
I guess i know what i have to do.

If i go back to my old diet mixed with my new one i should be able to get there.

Breakfast: 

A few sips of Fizzy Lemonade to keep sugar levels up through the day. 

Cigerette

Lunch:

Freddo bar (not sure they do these anymore so im going to have my babyfood puree)

Cigerette.

Dinner:

Cigerette

1 piece of fruit

Exercise: 

Atleast an hour of something

if my body was that thin once i CAN do it again. 

My friends say it was too skinny, but to me that looks perfect. 

The hair in the first picture the size of the second picture. I will look FABULOUS 

<3

-C

Binge, Binge, Binge, Binge, Binge and a bit more Binge

Whats wrong with me, why cant i seem to stop. 

I used my period and illness as a reason to eat. I used my tiredness and hangover as an excuse to eat. 

I cannot do this if i want to be skinny. I just need to get to 135lbs in 3 weeks for my holiday. Im only 140 now. Well after thismorning i was 142 but that was after id just eaten 10 flapjacks and a cookie JUST on my short drive home from R's house. 

So this should be possible. 

I saw the Baby food thing. I thought What the hell. Its food, just in small portions and pureed so its easier for my body to digest. 

Im getting all the nutriets i need. so im not starving myself. 

Calories will be relativly normal so i dont see a problem with it. 

I have no money so theres no problem with me going out drinking now and then having chips to fill my drunken belly. 

5lbs in 3 weeks. Seeing as i think 10lb will be impossible as ive been where i am for about a month now! WTF 

Why is the last 10lbs impossible to get rid of! 

You need to have motivation of steel. 

Might lock myslef in a cupboard or something. 

If i didnt have to go to work then i think i could do it. If i laid in bed, went to the gym then got back into bed, i feel like i could go with minimal food. but being at work and getting up and doing something im just eating and eating and eating. 

Even today ive already consumed my 1500cals. 

ERgh im fat, this is why im fat. I should just get fat and enjoy it, my DNA obviously wants me to be fat. 

I have a 20.0ish bmi. i want a 18.5. I just want to have that. 

How can it go down that much with just 10lbs. 

Ive done so well coming from 158 to 140. Please i just want 130. Ill Settle for 132 even. 

Or 135. Just not 140, ive been on it way too long. 

-Love C

keep trying to get back on the horse

So i keep falling off the horse and trying desperatly to climb back on. 

I did ok yesterday and i think the fact that i skipped dinner means that im not so hungry today. Its always the first week which is the hardest. 

Once you get through the first week the cravings start to go. So i just need to get through this week without binging or eating crap. 

Woke up today at 140lbs. 

i know ive been this weight before but thats low compared to what i got up to after the weekend! 

So going back down to my very low calories im hoping for 138-139lbs tomorrow and then lower and lower each day. 

GYM GYM GYM GYM GYM GYM GYM! 

Just need to keep going, 

My body size hasnt seemed to change in a month. 

Im the same weight same stats, Why havent i changed?

Im deffinitly not at the smallest i can be!

FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT 

need to be skinny, need to get my legs skinny, Need to get my arms skinny. 

L said to me that im crazy to think that im bigger than her, but im not blind! 

I hate when people say that too you to try and make you feel better. I know what shes saying because i say it to my friend who has managed to put on ALOT of weight. 

Well to a better day, always seem to loose more weight after swimming so going gym and swimming tonight. 

Stay Strong 

-C

Such a terrible blogger

So the main reason ive been so bad at blogging is that i put on 3lbs over the weekend and ive been trying desperatly to loose it all. 

Currently at 139.4lbs

I will get lower. 

I dont understand how i didnt loose more weight. 

1 hour at the gym and then an hour step class. 

My thighs were burning. 

how did i loose 0.2lbs? 

Ive been down to 136lbs therfore i know my body can get to it. 

All ive eaten today is soup:125kcals. 

Im not planning on eating much more. 

Perhaps some fruit after the gym and before legs bums and tums. 

Other than that nothing. 

Thinking of taking a laxi before LBT and so for tomorrow morning it will all flow out. 

Last time i took it before bed it didnt kick in untill the middle of the next day. perhaps i need to take more than 2. 

Ill try 3. Whats the harm?

i cant believe ive put all the weight back on.

I have to go out clubbing on saturday as a old friend is leaving to go do a season abroad for the summer. I was discussing with a friend that i dont want to go because i hate the hangovers. She mentioned that I never used to get hangovers because i used to vomit at the end of the night wether i needed to or not. because i hated the feeling of going to sleep drunk. 

Why did i stop doing that? sounds like a great habbit to get back into. Drink alcohol have my chips then when i get home lean over the toilet and let it all come out. I could do it in the street straight after food if i wanted to infront of all my friends. Nobody would suspect a thing! Even at home in the privacy of my own toilet, i wont have to worry about putting the shower on to mask the noise of my choking while i slide my fingers further down my throat. I can simply say, i feel really ill but its not working, im going to make myself sick and they will smile and accept it and not think anything of it! 

If i do that i dont need to make sure i have a slice of bread of something before i drink to line my stomach. I can leave it empty and just vomit the whole night every time i feel im getting just a bit too drunk. 

Maybe i wont even drink that much as the alcohol will hit my empty stomach harshly making one drink tip me into drunk. 

Sorry for all of this talk. I just dont know anymore. 

The scales arent moving much anymore, im not noticing a difference in my body.

I need to see something change. if my weight doesnt move why arnt i seeing toning going on on my belly or legs?

Why is there just no difference. 

Ahhh im going to stop now as im rambling and making bad reading. 

Sorry. 

-C 

Whats happend to me

I just cant seem to do anything right. 

Scales are showing a higher number today. 

i stress/anger ate late last night. 

I feel that ever since i had the stomache flu everything has been different. I havent been purging which is deffintily a good thing. I guess the fact that i had 7 hours of constant vomiting kind of put me off it. 

idk, you know when you have something every single day that your mind just doesnt want it anymore and however much you think about it your body doesnt crave it. Well thats what its like. 

It feels like that stomach flu has done that with the purging and the restricting. I find it so hard. 

I used to look at my belly and HATE myself and if i was hungry id say no and be able to walk past food. 

I did that today i said no im not hungry anymore. Walked past the food and took a handfull of savoury bites. 

i need to clamp down. Why am i finding it so difficult latley. I thought my motivation was back yesterday....Looks like it isnt. 

still going to the gym everyday which is good, but it doesnt really help when your weight is still creaping up because im eating so much. 

Atleast im not 140+ 

 still in the 130's JUST!

Todays intake so far:

3 handfulls of savoury bites : 150cals

Tomato soup: 125cals

Clementine: 35 cals

Going to the cinema tonight. So im going to try and have another bowl of soup after the gym so im not starving ... lie in bed and not think about food or have any savoury bites. and then i dont want popcorn but R always seems to be forcing me to eat and i guess hes a reason why ive been so bad in a way. Me not wanting to worry him therfore i eat all the time with him. and its junk food most of the time. 

so if i stick with my plan i will have consumed approx : 685cals 

125 - soup 

250 - small popcorn

At the gym i usually burn 380 odd calories.... need to start doing some sit ups. My belly is getting humungous.

Its very depressing!

Stay Strong 

-C

Im Back!

 

Lack of motivation

Lack of strength

Lack of energy

Lack of pretty much everything

Im so sorry ive been away! 

But im back. 

I think the fact that i was going to the gym but not seeing the scales move caused me loss of motivation. 

been binging non stop. 

I was close to my 135lbs goal. Boy im not there now.

Pizza, flapjacks, garlic pizza bread, chinese, mcdonalds, doughnuts, muffins. 

You name it, i ate it. 

However yesterday i had the mcdonalds and a binge at girls night and i woke up at 138.8lbs. 

Id lost weight. 

It was a very strange feeling. Im just happy that the scales are moving now. 

It's put me back on track. 

I have been consuming around 900+ calories so thats probably a reason why i havent lost recently. I have no scientific reason as to why i should have lost this morning, but i did so im taking it! 

im back on track. i will loose all of this weight. I have Turkey coming up with R. i NEED to be skinny and have a perfect body.

time to catch up on all of your blogs now! 

<3

Sorry for leaving you. 

Stay strong.  

-C

GAIN stupid GAIN

Back up to 137.4lbs today ... i dont understand why!

All i had was a salad at lunch.

Yes OK it was a shitty Morrisons salad (most likley to give me food poisening) but i made it super healthy with only a little bit of pasta as i havent had pasta well, in MONTHS!

And then for dinner i had beans on toast and that was it!

so in total that should be 700cals tops. 

ergh i dont get why i have to stay below 500cals if i want to loose. 

Back to the gym today i hope anyway now that im feeling much better. 

I will not go back into the 140's

I shant i cant and i wont!

-C

Navel Piercing

So i got my belly button pierced today as the girls im going on holiday all wanted it done. 

turns out half of them bailed! so was only J and I who got and shes not even coming on holiday. 

Super anoyed but now i just have motivation to get a better belly as i cant have a navel piercing with a flabby fat belly!

So because i got it done today i thought id shard some navel piercing thinspo 

<3

-C