Tired, Hungry, Confused

135.0 lbs today

Chicken nuggets and chips last night. 

I was driving back from Windsor at 2am missed my turning and added an extra hour to my already 50minute journey -_-

I dont know how but i was livid at the time so got some food, pulled over in a layby and ate. 

STRESSED

Turns out Satnav was just being a knob. 

 So Will's best friend said the same thing to me again last night when i popped to his bar with a friend 'I know will and i give it 2 weeks, he will get bored of you' Thank god my friend was there to hear it because she didnt believe it when i told her the first time becase of the way he is around me. 

I told Will that i dont want him to get bored of me and that im not in it for the short run - i do realllllly like him :) 

He said that he's just jealous and yes hes never really been in a relationship and that he used to sleep with girls for fun, but he doesnt want that ever since the moment he saw me. Which was over a month ago now and we have been seeing each other all that time - Sooo whats going to change from 'seeing' each other were we made an agreement not to sleep with other people etc from the beginning and being in a relationship?

George has given the relationship 2 weeks and Shane 3. 

Shane has only done it becuse he knows im a jealous person and also knows the amount of women who go up to will on a night out asking for sex etc. -_-

Will said in 1 week (which will make it 2 weeks) the only thing that will happen is that we will know each other 1 week better :D 

Ahhh hes got a way with words that boy. 

I obviously dont like alll these girls coming up to him but what can i do about it-Hes not running the Windsor night soon, just up north so all those posh rich sluts can fuck off. 

Then just to deal with the girls up here who work with us both and seem to quit when they find out im with him! 

I need to get in control of my eating. It seems to be the only thing i can control right now - this is the reason i said i didnt want to be in a relationship because i get jealous and ive told him the reason why it seems im closed off sometimes is becuase i dont want to put myself completly out there straight away if hes going to trade me in for a better model that comes along and offers him 3 ways - 4 ways. (yes on a night out he has been offered a 4 way straight up) 

The only thing thats keeping me comfort is that he comes back to mine - and when he gets his new place im probably going to have a mental break down! 

I want this guy sooo much, hes met every memeber of my family, been to dinner ive met his dad and brother. Not yet the sister and mum. But for me it usually takes months before i introduce them to my parents - this is how much i like him and things are sooo different. Its intense its fast and i like him tooooo much! 

Keep telling myself its not love it's lust. 

Mainly because it is. 

Im infactuated with this boy! 

-Love,

Tired, Hungry and Confused C

xxxxxxxxxx