Keeping My Promise

So im keeping my promise that i would upload a picture.

I know im not usally one to blur out my face etc but its got W in it and so thought it best! 

The image is awfull and you cant really see the outfit soo tonight im going to get myself into it and take a picture of it on my camera and upload it for you. So you will either get it this afternoon or early morning :) 

my weight is slowly going up and i need it to go down. 

BUT

My card has declined from being sooo far into my overdraft (i dont have an overdraft or limit) that they have actually said enough! 

Ooopps

So cant afford food petrol anything sooooo my weight should platuea for a day or two getting used to being back into starvation mode and then it will start to go down again. 

Im getting back into the gym now. I WILL go tonight. Got my friend whos going to join me so thats a bit of extra motivation! 

 

Im now working 3 jobs as of the 1st october to try and pay for stuff. These other two are two days each both cash in hand so it will give me about 100 a week cash. 

 

But that will mean my october month is fine but then my hours go down at my main job so ill be working that 3 days -_- 

 

So ill have to get the babysitting an extra day. Make my wage go up a bit more as im soo busy and im in demand from the children. (What can i say kids love me....Shame i really cant stand these two kids)

 

And fingers crossed the nightclub gets a third night also that i can work on tills with or something. That would be reallly good. 

 

My addiction to energy drinks isnt going anywhere soon. 

I have to have atleast 1 can of energy drink to feel fine in the mornign otherwise i will be rocking what feels like a hangover untill i have one. 2 days of thinking i had a hangover untill i crached open a can of SF Monster. 3 sips in, headache had gone. I no longer felt like i was going to crash or be sickl. I instantly felt £1000000 pounds.

 

Now to get that much money! 

 

Will try and post pictures later. 

 

Love to you alll <3

 

-C

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Too Happy

134lbs

Travelled down to Windsor again last night. 

Last time ill be doing that trip - Just think of the petrol ill save! 

stopped off at the services and got a ham and cheese pastie.....I DONT EVEN LIKE THEM. 

Will was sooooooo perfect last night. 

Going on about how i was the best looking girl there and how it hasnt sunk in that im his girlfriend because its too good to be true. 

I dont know why he thinks he doesnt deserve me etc etc. Hes soooo much better than me. 

He's in general a better person, better looking, better job, better at everything. 

I want him soooo much. 

SO back to the main topic - FOOD

Im eating far to much/little of it. 

Im living off SF Relentless and a bag of crisps for lunch 

go home and if i eat its either something so small like a sandwich or Will and i will go big and have realllly unhealthy food. 

Like yesterday big bar of galaxy between us and a mcdonalds! 

i need to get back to my 500cals a day and exercise. 

5'10.5 and 134lbs 

BMI: 19.0

I want a bmi of 18.5 so i need to loooose 3-4lbs

I still have fat on me, its starting to go on my bellly. 

OOOooooo i wore the Unitard last night. 

When the pictures from the night go up ill post one even though i dont think its a full length.... 

If not ill take a piccy in it....

Hope your alll doing well. 

Lots of Love

- C

xxxxxxxx

Tired, Hungry, Confused

135.0 lbs today

Chicken nuggets and chips last night. 

I was driving back from Windsor at 2am missed my turning and added an extra hour to my already 50minute journey -_-

I dont know how but i was livid at the time so got some food, pulled over in a layby and ate. 

STRESSED

Turns out Satnav was just being a knob. 

 So Will's best friend said the same thing to me again last night when i popped to his bar with a friend 'I know will and i give it 2 weeks, he will get bored of you' Thank god my friend was there to hear it because she didnt believe it when i told her the first time becase of the way he is around me. 

I told Will that i dont want him to get bored of me and that im not in it for the short run - i do realllllly like him :) 

He said that he's just jealous and yes hes never really been in a relationship and that he used to sleep with girls for fun, but he doesnt want that ever since the moment he saw me. Which was over a month ago now and we have been seeing each other all that time - Sooo whats going to change from 'seeing' each other were we made an agreement not to sleep with other people etc from the beginning and being in a relationship?

George has given the relationship 2 weeks and Shane 3. 

Shane has only done it becuse he knows im a jealous person and also knows the amount of women who go up to will on a night out asking for sex etc. -_-

Will said in 1 week (which will make it 2 weeks) the only thing that will happen is that we will know each other 1 week better :D 

Ahhh hes got a way with words that boy. 

I obviously dont like alll these girls coming up to him but what can i do about it-Hes not running the Windsor night soon, just up north so all those posh rich sluts can fuck off. 

Then just to deal with the girls up here who work with us both and seem to quit when they find out im with him! 

I need to get in control of my eating. It seems to be the only thing i can control right now - this is the reason i said i didnt want to be in a relationship because i get jealous and ive told him the reason why it seems im closed off sometimes is becuase i dont want to put myself completly out there straight away if hes going to trade me in for a better model that comes along and offers him 3 ways - 4 ways. (yes on a night out he has been offered a 4 way straight up) 

The only thing thats keeping me comfort is that he comes back to mine - and when he gets his new place im probably going to have a mental break down! 

I want this guy sooo much, hes met every memeber of my family, been to dinner ive met his dad and brother. Not yet the sister and mum. But for me it usually takes months before i introduce them to my parents - this is how much i like him and things are sooo different. Its intense its fast and i like him tooooo much! 

Keep telling myself its not love it's lust. 

Mainly because it is. 

Im infactuated with this boy! 

-Love,

Tired, Hungry and Confused C

xxxxxxxxxx

 

Back bra fat

Goodmorning Bloggers

Ive recently done some asos shopping but really worried. 

I was out in Windsor shopping 

(are you seeing a pattern here? Im a shopperholic)
anyway - I was out shopping for a new outfit to go out that night (bearing in mind im already in debt)

Found a ton of really nice playsuits and dresses etc. 

Size 10 are too big and look silly, yet size 8's are just a little tooo tight on my belly

I am sooooo bloated latly due to eating crap - 135lbs

OOOO and im official with Will

:D

Said  to him im going back to the gym so he will have to be bored at my house a little bit longer as i leave him home alone while i come to work..

But he wants to come with me - Im ok with this, All i do is the elliptical so not toooo bothered. cant do anything else due to my cyst in my foot. 

So back to the main point of this blog - i wonder off way too easily.

I bought this: 

 

Got it in a size 8 as i thought you want it to be tight etc and when i buy leggings i get a 8 so figers crossed it fits. 

But im really worried that im going to have back overhang over all of the straps on the back. 

And i dont know what to do about a bra as im not flat chested like the woman in the picture - Im a 32DD and the gell stick on backless bra's only go to a D -_-

I should start a fashion blog of all the outfits i buy. and shove together. Im going out enough. 

Might do that when i have some time on my hands but as Will is technically homeless and did live in Windsor and im Northamptonshire he is pratically living with me. 

This realtionship is going to kill me. As hes an Event manager for nightclubs alot of girls want him. Even the girls who work for him at the club i work for go up to him saying they like him and want him bla bla bla and then QUIT when they find out were together. Its crazy especially when the girls are my work friends to!

In the club the other night and a girl ran over ad jumped on him and wrapped her legs around him. His brother leaned over to me and said 'how do you put up with that?' I simply reply, I dont but i dont have a choice- its going to happen if im happy or not about it.

Got a realllly Sweet text from him randomly the otherday when he went back to his friends bar and i carried on shopping...

' When I'm not with you I miss everything about you, even that cheey little grin.. Your doing it now!!! Stoppp grinning...stopppp!! You've made me so happy all i can say is thank you miss dixon :) I hope this continues and ill do everything in my power to make you happy xxxxxxx'

^^ How sweet is that^^ 

Ahhhhhh :)

well i think ive bored you enough with this post sooo till next time 

Love C

xxxxxxx

SELF DISTRUCT MODE

132.8lbs

Arrive home from a very relaxed weekend away at centre parcs. 

My Promotions boss begs me to drive an hour to join him and shane for a hot tub and movie night. 

I go of course know that it ment hot tub and alcohol night. 

way to much alcohol consumed for a SUNDAY night and with work in the morning. 

Not going to go into details but yer, End up fucking my Promo boss. Thats going to be awkward next time i see him! 

Good rebound sex though!

sleep at 5am. 

Wake up at 7.30am On the hard floor with a rug as a blanket freezing cold with a guy either side of me. 

Is it strange that going out drinking with guys is way more fun than the girls sometimes! 

I know some of you wont be impressed and a side of me isnt impressed either but, ive just come out of a relationship and i just want to have fun, and whats the harm in that really? Im not putting myself in danger, im always letting people know were im going

:) 

Im having fun and thats all that matters right?

Oh and i got home from Centre Parcs and there was an envelope with my name on it!

 RICH WROTE ME A LETTER. 

 Must admit i didnt know wether to cry at it or laugh. Im mixed feelings about it. 

Hmmm he asked that he doesnt get a response from it so ill respect his wishes and not say anything. 

-Love C

xxxx

 

Fore Warning

This is only going to be a small quick post saying i dont know if ill be writing for the following reason. 

R and I broke up. 

This Morning.

Ive been keeping myself busy. Friend at works birthday so shes been filling me with cake and giving me lots of little simple jobs to keep my mind occupied so i dont break down here. 

I dont know what my weight is going to do. 

Im not hungry atall i dont feel anything. 

i dont know if im going to break down at my desk and not be able to move or perhaps on my drive home. probably niether. 

probably when he is dropping my stuff off. 

So by the fact of me not know what my weight is going to do i dont like posting about me gaining only loosing. 

I hate this. 

Deppresion oh how i open you with open arms.

Have i smiled today?

Fake ones sure beneath my sunglasses at strangers. 

9months....Gone

I.Want.My.Bed.

I.Want.My.Mum.

I just want a hug :(

-Love (a rather depressed) C

xxxxx

What is Happening

Starting Monday morning at 137.4lbs

Not bad if i do say so.

Now girls ... Off topic from weight and food etc. But one thing about this specific 'diet' Is that it effects our lives is more ways than one. 

Relationships.

Im Screwed in this case.

I miss my free time, i miss having that one night to myself. 

Now its everynight with R. Every second of the day he texts me. 

When im with him he can sense something is up and so he smothers me with affection which is the opposite of what i need right now.

If i left him-god its hard to explain without sounding big headed. He would be distraught. It would ruin him. He would probably kill either himself or me. 

Im scared to even have sex with him ...its been Forever. Like Over a month forever. Long time for a relationship thats only 8months old.

we will make out and he will grab my wrists and put them above my head...I used to like it when a guy took control. And to this day i wouldnt mind it. IF that is he didnt hold on so tight id have to scream out in pain to get him to get off me, which sometimes he doesnt as he thinks i just want to be in control. Well i think thats why he doesnt let go. 

So if hes like that making out im petrified of having sex and him being a little too rough and hurting me. Im probably way over thinking this but yer. its what im thinking. 

Do i miss being single? Yes, of course i do. I go out with my single friends and we get attention from very yummy boys and they get to have them and make out and take them back and i just have to sit from the sidelines wishing i had their lives. 

perhaps its the fact that i need more couple friends. I have though about this. and it was good when my Friend was dating R's mate. Was great fun. 

I just miss mee time and doing what i want to do. 

I want to go travellling. R doesnt and kicks up when its bought up that i want to go. 

I hate the town were i live and want to leave. R will stay here forever and ever!

Im 20. R is 27

R wants to settle down. I most deffinitly do not. 

Have to admit im bringing up the negatives. He does have good points. im just not really seeing them at the moment. 

-Love C

xxxxxxx

The Truth.

 

And the Winner is ..... WinterA

(btw that picture is because im talking about men and well alcide from true blood is super hot)

ME-  Decided against being a fb friend then? Fair enough. See you around x

A- my girlfriend went mental that i added you so i kind of have to. even though weve never actually spoken. sorry x

Winter was correct that it was the girlfriend. 

Another strange thing that happend (things seem to come in 3's with me)

My ex boyfriend from school turned around and said i go for jerks but thats not all i attract as hes changed now and he likes me likes me. 

Wtf its been like 3-4 years since we dated.

Also found out R and his mates decided to get hold of him on a night out i said hi as i havent seen him in time as he goes to uni up in wales. and say oh btw this is C's Boyfriend. Wtf!? Jealous much. Cant stand jealous people/ 

R was once talking to his ex called me over and i left saying i dont want to get to know her but i have no problem you too catching up. I know hes mine and i trust him. Same with him talking to girls on fb or in the pub/club.

And then R was in an full on mood last night. 

If i got a penny for every kiss i got during the night that woke me up id be rich. I was trying to sleep while he got ready for work and hes sat there pecking at my face! He said im the one in a mood because i didnt cuddle in my sleep. He just answered himself....i was asleep! How the heck am i ment to have a brain when sleeping??! 

So thats my come in 3. I want some retail therapy!

-Love C

xxxxxxxxx

Gym Update

So i went to the gym and he was there. 

he had 'poked' me on facebook and has liked EVERY status i have written. Commented back etc. 

Come home from the gym to find that he has unfriended me.  I only noticed because on my timeline its in big letters it said we were friends and now its gone. I hadnt deleted him so im guessing he has.

Im just super super confused as to why!

Im not bothered as to the fact he did it. Im jsut one of those people that like to know the whole story.

Im fed up of people talking to me one second then deleting me on facebook the next.

All i can think of is R.

He added a guy once who added me...only know this as the guy pm'd me asking why he added him and what he should do. 

Has R done this and written some warning? Was that why he REALLY didnt want me on his phone last night to search through old fb to each other to prove a point? (My phone is shit for internet so i use his all the time)

Argh i just really want to know. 

humf.

-Love C

xxxxx

138.4

So ive been ill and i would have though my weight would go down more than that but hey ho ... cant get everything you wish for ey! 

So not much has gone on in my life...Except i was in the gym on Monday and as you do, while your bored on the cross trainer(elliptical) staring into space, you stare into space across to all the guys in the weights section. 

Well Tuesday i had a friend request. Didnt know who it was. Have one mutual friend and i dont even know that mutual friend. But i recognised him. Hes the very muscular, Very beautifull Gym guy i stare at. 

He must have searched MY name out of the sign in book. Which means he was paying attention to when i was leaving and well in general me. 

He has a girlfriend too. Or so says facebook. 

Why would he add me. I've only ever stared at him gormlessly. 

Guessing he has stared back at me! 

Im excited for my next visit to the gym but sort of scared to go. I dont want to be sweating it out if hes there paying attention to me. 

I dont like that im liking the attention from some other guy. 

Couldnt have come at a worse time as R is being very very Clingy as he thinks im going to run off. and doing that he will hug me just a little too tight and squeeze me, and has got into a habbit of holding my arms down to make out with me to the extent that hes crushing my wrists. He will hug me and put HIS leg over me ... Just be the clingy girlfriend. he's spoiling me with gifts as if hes trying to buy me. He said he was too ill Wednesday to see me and that he was jut going to sleep. So i said my friend was going to come over and keep me company ana tada hes feeling 10x better and wants to come over. WTF. you cant be jealous of a female friend.

See not the best time for somebody to be paying me attention. Specially not somebody beautifull. Thank god this guy has a girlfriend.

My fabulous perdicament. 

Could never break up with R though....I honestly think he would kill himself if i left.

-Love C

xxxxxxxx

Need not want

So it's officially come to my attention that the last 10lbs is a need not a want. 

I HAVE to loose the weight if i want to be happy, if i want to stay in my relationship with R. 

I dont want food. I can live off tea, Diet coke and Apple puree.

Suddenly not feeling comfortable around my boyfriend is terrifying, i dont like how this has suddenly come about. Why has this happend. I know he didnt mean it when he called me fat. 

If i looked like that ^^ i wouldnt have a problem. 

I need to get to a weight im happy and where i am now im deffinitly not happy. 

I want my boyfriend to be able to touch me and be comfortable to stand there naked.

ive been with him over 6 months and one word from him and im back to basics. 

I dont hate him for what he said. i know he didnt mean it. Its just in my head.

If i think im fat, and he said im fat, it MUST be true. 

I cant get it out my head. 

You can say im not fat and i know im not the fattest, But i also know im not the skinniest.

I need to do this otherwise hes not going to want to be around me. 

What guy wants to be with a girl who doesnt feel comfortable around him?

I need some serious head help!

-C

My fucking fantastic weekend

Sorry i havent posted all weekend its been a roller coaster ride! 

Friday went to TGI's with R and a friend of mine and her man. It was good we had a great time, Untill we left. I just got moodey that R NEVER stays at mine! 

i mean NEVER. unless hes incredibly drunk and i have to take him home. 

Saturday was good R and i had made up and i was getting ready for a girls night out. We get drunk we go to the pub. i was drinking on pretty muhc an empty stomach appart from one slice of toast so i didnt ruin everyones night. And well R did a good job of that. 

he was getting kicked out of the pub so i was there trying to pull him out so he would stop yelling at the bouncers and not get bar'ed

He then decided to go mental at me, Calling me everyname under the sun. and the three things that got to me the most were:

-Fuck of you fat cunt

- Id rather dance with my bed than ever be with you

-You fucking fat twat.

So as you can imagen i left him to figure his own way home, Maraculously he found my house and my friend let him in. I spent the night smoking and drinking vodka in my bathroom! Good evening?

Had to put him in my bed and me sleep in my brothers bed. 

In the morning i literally had nothhing to say to him so he left without a hello or a goodbye. Finally made up come the evening with the biggest appolagy ever when i had to explain everything hes done.

I thought i was ok with it all and id forgiven him and i have i love him to bits. But we were lying in bed watching a film and he did what he always does, Lifts up my top and just strokes my belly, But i jsut instantly batted his hand away and pulled my top down. I just DIDNT want him to touch my belly. perhaps his words have stayed with me unconscously. I know he was upset that i wouldnt allow him to touch skin. or even see it.

I made up so crabby excuse that i couldnt have sex. so i didnt have to get naked. 

I guess i just feel a bit vunrable. 

or perhaps its that i ate like an obese person after he called me that and put on soooo much. Currently 141.0 - sick JOKE! I hate this weight. :(

Back to the baby food diet now. 

Stay strong

Sorry for the ramble., 

-C

Renovation Motivation Thinspiration

138.8lbs

Back down even though i ended up eating a bit at R's.

Trying to stick to the plan Marla and I created i should have had soup for dinner ... and i was planning on it.

However R didnt go to the gym like he said he was so he was ready alot earlier than usual and told me to come straight over as he was really bored. Me being me, dropped everything and rushed over. Only to realise id forgotten to eat my soup 5 minutes into being with him and I very stupidly said it out loud.

That made me make me Jacket potato and beans! ergh

Even a bit of cheese

Im Lactose intolerant, i should NOT be eating cheese. 

Then i had thrown at me 4, yes FOUR rocky bars and a nice big handfull of skittles. 

thankfully i lost...dont know how, eating all of that and being on my period. Not exactly a recipe for weight loss but ill take it!

Perhaps its because my muscles dont ache as much today so they are starting to relax which obviously means less weight. YAY :)

So a few of the blogs ive been following have gone for a re-vamp and a bit of a change to boost their motivation and I though i might change mine seeing as when i first chose it I hadnt a clue how to use Blogger!

It's not the best but this thing confuses me so its pretty much just a new background. 

Got wine and chinese tonight. 

The worst part is were getting chinese because my friend J is coming home from uni (have to try and find Northampton train station to pick her up) and she's chinese and her parents own one of the chinese resturant/take aways in town. So her parents insentive to get her home is that if she does she gets a £20-£30 budget on foood which she brings over to pre drinks. ERGH!

Kill me now. 

So im just going to eat nothing all day - might have my carrot and cucumber sticks when i feel hungry so that gets me to <50cals so when chinese and the wine comes its not on top of a bad day. 

A bit of Thinspiration for both myself and you guys. 

<3

-C

Hello Strangers

Im soooo sorry i havent posted in a few days, but my weight has ben up and down and im just trying to get back to my post bing bing bing weight: I keep having really really good days were i feel like im on target, i go to R's and he feeds me. I have to eat it because he doesnt believe me that im eating when im at home! 

He knows im going to the gym can he not think that the weight loss is because of that? Not because of near starvation?

Does he not understand that i LOVE the feeling of being hungry and starving myself?

I drew up Marla and my plan last night (before i went to R's) and its pretty rough untill i can be bothered to do it all over again...Ill scan it in while im at work!

To show you the type of failure i am my weight has gone up to 142.0lbs!!!!!!!! 

142.0lbs ..... thats fricking huge! 

not seeing R so i wont eat what i dont really want. 

Yesterdays intake:

Breakfast: nothing :) ]

Lunch: Cucumber Sandwich + Fruit selection - 100cals

After Gym Snack: Banana - 100cals

Dinner: Mixed Salad - 170 cals

Total:  370

Gym workout total: 410cals burned

What i then went on to eat at R's:

Tuna sandwich (with horrible thick white bread) 300cals

Wotsits: 95cals

2 digestive biscuits: 75cals

Total: 470cals + 370cals = 840cals (sucks how that makes me gain!)

HELP ME! why do i gain on 800 calories, why do i have to stay under 500 even when im working out. 

Would be great to have an allowance of no gaining untill im over 1000cals 

All it means is im going to have to restrict more to get the fat off my body! 

Not feeling well today, pretty much the same as every other day. 

Just the feeling to be sick everywere, headache etc. Think i have a virus :(

Great timing with skiing at the weekend! 

Stay Strong and Think Thin. 

-C

ABC 30 Day Challenge: Day 8 & 9

Just a quick note, Sorry i didnt post yesterday, i have been really busy and trying to keep up appearances is HARD!

Day 8: 400cals

4 small maryland cookies 100cals

cucumber sandwich on white bread 150cals

Cheesy Wotsits 95cals
Total: 345cals

Question: Three Things you want to say to different People?
To R: I love you, im sorry i cant say it. I guess its something to do with letting people in or something, or maybe im just completly messed up. But i do. I really do.

To J (R's best friend who i dated 3 months before R): Your so insecure, having to try and ruin things between R and i because we didnt work out. Also i want my DVD's back and if you dont ill let R know that you still have all the texts and pictures i sent you ... he wont be happy about that will he and you KNOW all of your friends think your a massive bellend for showing them the pictures already, they will think your on a complete new low with this. Oh and they already think your pathetic for being jealous and being mean to R for actually being nice to me! (even though i could never do that and ruin sombody's life even if they deserve it)

To J (My best friend): Where have you been? I know your serious with your boyfriend, but you were before you broke up for a month and you still made time to see me. In the month you wernt together you spent pretty much every day with me and i helped pick you up and put you back together and make you see things clearly. You then got back together with him and shut not only me out but EVERYONE. We know you have a new job but it doesnt go on that late that you cant stop by my house on your way home (which you have to pass anyway) I miss you and would be really good to tell my best friend about whats going on in my life. Do you even know about R and I? No because you dont reply to texts, phone calls. The only way I know you still think of me as your best friend is when i visit your store and you say ooooo give my best friend here a discount.

Day 9: 500cals
Juice: 300cals

Cucumber Sandwich: 50cals
Salad: 130cals
Total: 480cals

Question: Pet Peeves
People using slang words i.e totes, foreves, nout, lol etc Just say the whole word! How much time are you saving?!?!
Also the toilet seat being left up. It should stay down.

Oh just thought i would let you know Day 7 didnt go as well as planned. I didnt end up having the spaghetti, i went to have dinner with my dad as he had to stay behind while my mum went to visit my nan as he had to work and was going to be eatng alone and i felt really bad. So i had a chinese. I regret to inform you girls that my 30days detox from not purging didnt happen :( I then went out and got drunk and had chips for my walk home! What a disaster. So my weight is now 140.6lbs but i am on my period and im pretty amazed it hasnt gone up more if im honest!

Stay Strong and Think Thin

p.s Sorry abotu the long post.

-C

ABC 30 Day Challenge: Day 6&7

140.8lbs

Kind of knew this was going to happen

Day 6: 200cals
2 Cupcakes 200cals

4 50/50 Kingsmill Bread Rolls 616cals
2 Bags of walkers french fries crisps 167cals
Cucumber Sandwich 50cals
12 tuk Biscuits 300cals

Total: 1333 cals

Gym: 30 minutes on the treadmill

Question: What Band or Music is most important to you?
I dont really have a specific type of music i like to listen to, i have a very eclectic taste in music.
I think i listen to alot of chill out music the most to calm my down, so Imogen heap, her former band Frou Frou, The Fray, Mumford and Sons etc but i do like all the current hits to get ready to in the morning and for nights out.
I listen to radio 1 on my way to work and have a good sing along :) 

Would just like to apologise for the 3 posts yesterday! quite alot. But i had such a terrible day. My card got a fraud stamp on it so i had to fix that (anybody hate calling the bank, your on the phone for agessss) then went to buy some new running trainers as my ones are ruined and my card wouldnt work there or at the cash point so off to the bank i went, got some money out and ordered a new card as my chip is broken! fucking great.
Paid for my items. dished out over £50 but its my goal treat (even though i shouldnt have allowed myself it after my binge) Went to my car 5 mintues late and i had gotten a parking ticket! ERGH FFS!!
Also found out the reason i felt so ill in the day yesterday (sorry this is ALOT of information you probably dont want to know) But my tampon applicater had 2 tampons in side by side so when they expanded it was alot wider than usual so caused the large amount of discomfort which made me want to vom. So yer. let P&G know and i get free tampons -whey im ever so lucky!! (sarcasm)

Day 7: 300cals (ill do better today)

yoghurt 91cals
heinz Spaghetti bolognase and sausage 184cals

cucumber chunk 5 cals

Total : 280cals

Exercise: 30 minutes Hatha Yoga

Question: Dyou read? What are you favourite books?o 

Yes, I do read. my favourite books are fantasy. I must admit i did read all the twilight books (much better than the films) i LOVE the mortal instruments series...alot darker than twilight but im a big scaredy cat when it comes to horror so there not that bad. Have spent a night in the freezer before. Then again most of my books have as they've scared me!
Also the House of night series....can you tell these are all vampire/imortal type books. Told you fantasy. something that i can pretend and go into my own little world. I could read and read forever if i didnt have soo much other things to do!

R and i booked Turkey Yesterday. Its official 20th April to 27th We are going to Turkey. I know its not going to be that hot, But bloodey warmer than the UK.
Would still Love to hear if any of you have been there!

- C