Am I Allowed to secretly love drama?

Firstly I will start with weight.

132.2lbs

Pretty much maintained the past couple of days. Im impressed ith the above number with the amount of alcohol i drank last night.

Soooooooooo

Im helping my friends friend out to help promote a club in need for a launch on august 4th.

Went to meet the team to get to know each other they decided to have drinks. Only 3 guys went and me. Nobody knowing each other.

The guy who im working for so technically my boss, Who is 3 months younger than me and has a better job and earns fuck loads more than me.

#welljel

so we all got hammard, i was only ment to drink 4 alcopops so i could drive home but after the 3rd drinking game i was a goner and noooo way was i driving home.

9 till 12.
Drunk

12-2 AM
Start getting even more drunk and a little tired ... My feet hurt.

2-4 AM
-Sat in my technically boss's hotel room in his bed fully clothed.
- he gives me a top to sleep in
- he knows i broke up with R 3 days ago and that i wasnt going to put out
- he starts attempting to make out with me, My mouth is tightly closed
- He RIPS his top off of me ... I mean its in shreds.
- Im still saying no and we shake on remaining friends with no benefits
- The other 2 guys come to the hotel room, and im just sat awkwardly in bed in my underwear due to the top being ripped off.

4-4.37 AM
- My belly is really starting to hurt and I need to go for a number 2 NOW.
- 3 guys and 1 girl in a hotel room, NOOO THANK YOU,
-I get up to walk out and venture my drive home

4.37-5.00 AM
Think that every car is a police car because im battered but live 20mins drive on the dual carrage way away and i have no money to stay in the main town.

5.00-5.30 AM
- Die on the toilet ... I must have eaten something dodgy.
- Didnt really eat before i came out so cant be that :/

5.30 - 7.30AM
SLEEEEEEEEPPPP

7.30-9.30
-Get ready for work
-Drive to work
-Still Drunk as a skunk

9.30 - Present
-Hanging out of my bumm

I had such a good time and i LOVE it.

I missed it, The getting drunk not having a care in the world, nobody to answer to/

(Just to let you know because i was meeting people i didnt really know, Had only met the boss guy once for an interview, i was texting my friend every hour as to were i was etc just incase)

-Love C
xxxxxxxx

p.s IM BACK

The Truth.

 

And the Winner is ..... WinterA

(btw that picture is because im talking about men and well alcide from true blood is super hot)

ME-  Decided against being a fb friend then? Fair enough. See you around x

A- my girlfriend went mental that i added you so i kind of have to. even though weve never actually spoken. sorry x

Winter was correct that it was the girlfriend. 

Another strange thing that happend (things seem to come in 3's with me)

My ex boyfriend from school turned around and said i go for jerks but thats not all i attract as hes changed now and he likes me likes me. 

Wtf its been like 3-4 years since we dated.

Also found out R and his mates decided to get hold of him on a night out i said hi as i havent seen him in time as he goes to uni up in wales. and say oh btw this is C's Boyfriend. Wtf!? Jealous much. Cant stand jealous people/ 

R was once talking to his ex called me over and i left saying i dont want to get to know her but i have no problem you too catching up. I know hes mine and i trust him. Same with him talking to girls on fb or in the pub/club.

And then R was in an full on mood last night. 

If i got a penny for every kiss i got during the night that woke me up id be rich. I was trying to sleep while he got ready for work and hes sat there pecking at my face! He said im the one in a mood because i didnt cuddle in my sleep. He just answered himself....i was asleep! How the heck am i ment to have a brain when sleeping??! 

So thats my come in 3. I want some retail therapy!

-Love C

xxxxxxxxx

binge purge and repeat

So i found out my housemate is moving out, and i might be made redundant. 

So yesterday i found out about my job so i binged!

Was at R's so couldnt purge. 

And found out today my housemate has found a new house with his girlfriend of SIX MONTHS!

im happy because i fucking hate living with him! I just cant stand it. hes a nice person i just hate living with him and everthing he does. if he moves out i doubt ill ever talk to him again. 

But a girlfriend of six months is he playing some sick joke. I actually just want to laugh in his face and watch him ruin his life! 6 months of the two of them being together to move in and sign a 6 month contract! It's going to fail and im going to be there at the end screaming i told you so! 

His girlfriend stopped him staying here (his own home) because she didnt like that he lived with me. Somebody who is barley here because i have a boyfriend and spend most of my time there. Got jealous that his BEST female friend that hes known since junior school and she is one of the lads ... and not the smallest person ever. But she stayed in the guys tent at reading when they were high and drunk and she called him up saying hes not allowed to stay in that tent! OMG there as bad as each other.

I know i sound like a class A bitch, but im in a foul mood as you can tell and i just think its fucking rediculous and because there being idiots to move in so soon, i cant wait for it to end in tears and say i told you so!

Oh another addition to why im in such a bitchy foul mood is that i had lunch with my friend today: had a jacket potato with beans and cheese and garlic bread with cheese and curly fries.... I broke lent, then i purged. 

I then raided my cupboards and ate a whole packet of tuk biscuits ... 25 cals each but when you have about 25 of them its not good! 

Oh and then i purged that up! 

I then drank a WHOLE carton of apple juice to try use a natural laxative ... Normally works straight away. NADA. so thats just calories sitting there. 

Oh AND i have an organised dinner to go to.

Chicken, gammon and pinnaple mixed in sour cream and wrapped in pastry ... Not healthy!!!

Ergh i just want to cut my belly off! its soo fat and disgusting. why cant people see how horrible i look and smack every bit of food out of my hands?

Atleast i got some exercise in. 

  C

-Fatty McFat Fat over and out

My Not so Liquid Fast

144.8lbs as usual. 

So today i decided to take drastic measures, and go on a liquid fast to see if that will get me off this anoying plateau.

SO i dropped by Tesco on my way to work this morning and picked up a Apple and Mango juice and a Apple, peach, mango and pasion fruit Juice. 

Decided to go for lots of things with Apple in because (sorry if this is too much information) I think its because of the restricting, i havent had any movement for almost 2 weeks. so thought natural laxatives! (thought it may have something to do with the plateau, i dont know im blaming everything)

Well tada my theory worked! after a carton was consumed. Little did i know 1 carton (1litre) was 520 cals! So im going for a larger day. It seemed to work last time i was in plateau, So aiming for 1000. 

As soon as my master plan worked i couldnt find myself keeping to a strict liquid diet, so i bought some snack a jacks. 41cals each. SO i had 5!!

And going to eat my Tuna and sweetcorn sandwich for dinner. 136cals. 

Total of 861cals leaving 139cals for whatever R tries to feed me! 

Dont think he will be suspicious after the binge though!

Had a horrible dream last night that my mum was randomly searing the internet while at work and stumbled across this blog, God it was awfull. I was force fed and it put me into a worse place with food. I dont know how to emplain it to make you understand how torturing it was. Nobody and i mean NOBODY can ever find out about this blog, not if it turn out how last night did. was such a real dream. Obviously had the few random things involved that dont really make sense. 

To a better day. Going to see Underworld tonight, that will keep my body distracted for a few hours! 

Stay Strong and Think Thin. 

-C

Could I have binged any more?!

250cals at the start then it began!!!

Wotsits 95cal
Salt and vinegar French fries:89cals
2 brown bread rolls 200cals
Butter (went for the healthier flora) 70cal
6Biscuits assorted: 180ish cals

Omg Im haven't to stop myself from asking R to go find me more food! I could eat an army! Stupid binge cycles....and I CAN'T purge...my god, you don't know how much i want to, but not my house, his parents are sharing the wall to the bathroom. Ergh, I'm going home tonight to purge. If R will let me. He likes me stay and sleeping with him too much.

Going to hide in shame from the biggest binge of my life! Crisps rolla! What was i thinking?!?!

-C