My fucking fantastic weekend

Sorry i havent posted all weekend its been a roller coaster ride! 

Friday went to TGI's with R and a friend of mine and her man. It was good we had a great time, Untill we left. I just got moodey that R NEVER stays at mine! 

i mean NEVER. unless hes incredibly drunk and i have to take him home. 

Saturday was good R and i had made up and i was getting ready for a girls night out. We get drunk we go to the pub. i was drinking on pretty muhc an empty stomach appart from one slice of toast so i didnt ruin everyones night. And well R did a good job of that. 

he was getting kicked out of the pub so i was there trying to pull him out so he would stop yelling at the bouncers and not get bar'ed

He then decided to go mental at me, Calling me everyname under the sun. and the three things that got to me the most were:

-Fuck of you fat cunt

- Id rather dance with my bed than ever be with you

-You fucking fat twat.

So as you can imagen i left him to figure his own way home, Maraculously he found my house and my friend let him in. I spent the night smoking and drinking vodka in my bathroom! Good evening?

Had to put him in my bed and me sleep in my brothers bed. 

In the morning i literally had nothhing to say to him so he left without a hello or a goodbye. Finally made up come the evening with the biggest appolagy ever when i had to explain everything hes done.

I thought i was ok with it all and id forgiven him and i have i love him to bits. But we were lying in bed watching a film and he did what he always does, Lifts up my top and just strokes my belly, But i jsut instantly batted his hand away and pulled my top down. I just DIDNT want him to touch my belly. perhaps his words have stayed with me unconscously. I know he was upset that i wouldnt allow him to touch skin. or even see it.

I made up so crabby excuse that i couldnt have sex. so i didnt have to get naked. 

I guess i just feel a bit vunrable. 

or perhaps its that i ate like an obese person after he called me that and put on soooo much. Currently 141.0 - sick JOKE! I hate this weight. :(

Back to the baby food diet now. 

Stay strong

Sorry for the ramble., 

-C