Need not want

So it's officially come to my attention that the last 10lbs is a need not a want. 

I HAVE to loose the weight if i want to be happy, if i want to stay in my relationship with R. 

I dont want food. I can live off tea, Diet coke and Apple puree.

Suddenly not feeling comfortable around my boyfriend is terrifying, i dont like how this has suddenly come about. Why has this happend. I know he didnt mean it when he called me fat. 

If i looked like that ^^ i wouldnt have a problem. 

I need to get to a weight im happy and where i am now im deffinitly not happy. 

I want my boyfriend to be able to touch me and be comfortable to stand there naked.

ive been with him over 6 months and one word from him and im back to basics. 

I dont hate him for what he said. i know he didnt mean it. Its just in my head.

If i think im fat, and he said im fat, it MUST be true. 

I cant get it out my head. 

You can say im not fat and i know im not the fattest, But i also know im not the skinniest.

I need to do this otherwise hes not going to want to be around me. 

What guy wants to be with a girl who doesnt feel comfortable around him?

I need some serious head help!

-C