Too Happy

134lbs

Travelled down to Windsor again last night. 

Last time ill be doing that trip - Just think of the petrol ill save! 

stopped off at the services and got a ham and cheese pastie.....I DONT EVEN LIKE THEM. 

Will was sooooooo perfect last night. 

Going on about how i was the best looking girl there and how it hasnt sunk in that im his girlfriend because its too good to be true. 

I dont know why he thinks he doesnt deserve me etc etc. Hes soooo much better than me. 

He's in general a better person, better looking, better job, better at everything. 

I want him soooo much. 

SO back to the main topic - FOOD

Im eating far to much/little of it. 

Im living off SF Relentless and a bag of crisps for lunch 

go home and if i eat its either something so small like a sandwich or Will and i will go big and have realllly unhealthy food. 

Like yesterday big bar of galaxy between us and a mcdonalds! 

i need to get back to my 500cals a day and exercise. 

5'10.5 and 134lbs 

BMI: 19.0

I want a bmi of 18.5 so i need to loooose 3-4lbs

I still have fat on me, its starting to go on my bellly. 

OOOooooo i wore the Unitard last night. 

When the pictures from the night go up ill post one even though i dont think its a full length.... 

If not ill take a piccy in it....

Hope your alll doing well. 

Lots of Love

- C

xxxxxxxx

Back bra fat

Goodmorning Bloggers

Ive recently done some asos shopping but really worried. 

I was out in Windsor shopping 

(are you seeing a pattern here? Im a shopperholic)
anyway - I was out shopping for a new outfit to go out that night (bearing in mind im already in debt)

Found a ton of really nice playsuits and dresses etc. 

Size 10 are too big and look silly, yet size 8's are just a little tooo tight on my belly

I am sooooo bloated latly due to eating crap - 135lbs

OOOO and im official with Will

:D

Said  to him im going back to the gym so he will have to be bored at my house a little bit longer as i leave him home alone while i come to work..

But he wants to come with me - Im ok with this, All i do is the elliptical so not toooo bothered. cant do anything else due to my cyst in my foot. 

So back to the main point of this blog - i wonder off way too easily.

I bought this: 

 

Got it in a size 8 as i thought you want it to be tight etc and when i buy leggings i get a 8 so figers crossed it fits. 

But im really worried that im going to have back overhang over all of the straps on the back. 

And i dont know what to do about a bra as im not flat chested like the woman in the picture - Im a 32DD and the gell stick on backless bra's only go to a D -_-

I should start a fashion blog of all the outfits i buy. and shove together. Im going out enough. 

Might do that when i have some time on my hands but as Will is technically homeless and did live in Windsor and im Northamptonshire he is pratically living with me. 

This realtionship is going to kill me. As hes an Event manager for nightclubs alot of girls want him. Even the girls who work for him at the club i work for go up to him saying they like him and want him bla bla bla and then QUIT when they find out were together. Its crazy especially when the girls are my work friends to!

In the club the other night and a girl ran over ad jumped on him and wrapped her legs around him. His brother leaned over to me and said 'how do you put up with that?' I simply reply, I dont but i dont have a choice- its going to happen if im happy or not about it.

Got a realllly Sweet text from him randomly the otherday when he went back to his friends bar and i carried on shopping...

' When I'm not with you I miss everything about you, even that cheey little grin.. Your doing it now!!! Stoppp grinning...stopppp!! You've made me so happy all i can say is thank you miss dixon :) I hope this continues and ill do everything in my power to make you happy xxxxxxx'

^^ How sweet is that^^ 

Ahhhhhh :)

well i think ive bored you enough with this post sooo till next time 

Love C

xxxxxxx

133.0lbs 

yes i had a binge last night and im reallly suprised how i only put on 0.4lbs 

:/ 

How come when i have a big binge i dont put on as much as when i have a little binge?

Probably would have been less as my binge was at about 4pm but then i had a sandwich past 8 and the scales were 133 before i had that pitta bread. 

Ah well.

My promo team are back in North tonight 

:)

Soo happy because it means i can go out with them, MUST LEAVE BY 12.00AM 

ive got to be up at 5.30 to shower and get ready to be picked up for 6 to leave for the OLYMPICS

Off to see Athletics

:)

SOOO EXCITED

so i wont be able to post tomorrow or over the weekend so ill let you know my plan 

Thursday (today)

- work

- travel an hour up north 

- Hot Tub 

- Drink a bit

-Go into Town and drink 

-Drive home (fingers crossed) by 12.30am

Friday

-Leave for Olympics at 6am

-Travel around arena once games have finished (1.40pm)

- Go for food with family

- Travel back to Btown

- Get ready for a night out up North

-Travel up North

-PAARRTYYY

Saturday

-Travel back to Btown

- Back to Ntown for shopping and nails/Eyebrows done

- Back to Btown for the best steak around!

-BACK TO NTOWN for the launch party im running

-Dont know evening plans

Sunday

-DIE FROM HANGOVER

 - might go back out 

Monday

-Work and you shall hear from me 

:)

Hope your all ok! 

Stay Strong and Think Skinny 

- Love C

xxxxxxx

You Blocked me on Facebook

132.6lbs

Its soooo strange putting that number! 

Its strange though im still feeling fat, not quite skinny yet. I still have all my fat rolls, im still a size 10. 

I would have though loosing 7lbs would have taken a bit of the weight off but no im the damn same. 

Ive been here for a while so fingers crosed this is my new level to hang around. 

Sorry i havent posted in a while, ive been super super busy. 

I havent let myself have time to think with this break up. 

Ive also been going to my hospital appointment and booking all sorts of things. 

Confirmed cyst in my foot - OH JOY! 

Have to wait untill the 20th August to discuss with my doctor treatment plans. I could ask for any other doctor but you know when you just want your own?

Calmed on the drinking but thats cuz the Promo team are in Windsor. There back tomorrow afternoon. 

They want to see me. I cant have a late night though as i need to be up at 6am Friday morning to get to London For the Olympics. 

:)

Perhaps i could drive to Northampton for the evening and if they do go out only have a few and leave by 1am? 

As im feeling very british here is some British thinspo

<3

-Love C

xxxxxxx

SELF DISTRUCT MODE

132.8lbs

Arrive home from a very relaxed weekend away at centre parcs. 

My Promotions boss begs me to drive an hour to join him and shane for a hot tub and movie night. 

I go of course know that it ment hot tub and alcohol night. 

way to much alcohol consumed for a SUNDAY night and with work in the morning. 

Not going to go into details but yer, End up fucking my Promo boss. Thats going to be awkward next time i see him! 

Good rebound sex though!

sleep at 5am. 

Wake up at 7.30am On the hard floor with a rug as a blanket freezing cold with a guy either side of me. 

Is it strange that going out drinking with guys is way more fun than the girls sometimes! 

I know some of you wont be impressed and a side of me isnt impressed either but, ive just come out of a relationship and i just want to have fun, and whats the harm in that really? Im not putting myself in danger, im always letting people know were im going

:) 

Im having fun and thats all that matters right?

Oh and i got home from Centre Parcs and there was an envelope with my name on it!

 RICH WROTE ME A LETTER. 

 Must admit i didnt know wether to cry at it or laugh. Im mixed feelings about it. 

Hmmm he asked that he doesnt get a response from it so ill respect his wishes and not say anything. 

-Love C

xxxx

 

Am I Allowed to secretly love drama?

Firstly I will start with weight.

132.2lbs

Pretty much maintained the past couple of days. Im impressed ith the above number with the amount of alcohol i drank last night.

Soooooooooo

Im helping my friends friend out to help promote a club in need for a launch on august 4th.

Went to meet the team to get to know each other they decided to have drinks. Only 3 guys went and me. Nobody knowing each other.

The guy who im working for so technically my boss, Who is 3 months younger than me and has a better job and earns fuck loads more than me.

#welljel

so we all got hammard, i was only ment to drink 4 alcopops so i could drive home but after the 3rd drinking game i was a goner and noooo way was i driving home.

9 till 12.
Drunk

12-2 AM
Start getting even more drunk and a little tired ... My feet hurt.

2-4 AM
-Sat in my technically boss's hotel room in his bed fully clothed.
- he gives me a top to sleep in
- he knows i broke up with R 3 days ago and that i wasnt going to put out
- he starts attempting to make out with me, My mouth is tightly closed
- He RIPS his top off of me ... I mean its in shreds.
- Im still saying no and we shake on remaining friends with no benefits
- The other 2 guys come to the hotel room, and im just sat awkwardly in bed in my underwear due to the top being ripped off.

4-4.37 AM
- My belly is really starting to hurt and I need to go for a number 2 NOW.
- 3 guys and 1 girl in a hotel room, NOOO THANK YOU,
-I get up to walk out and venture my drive home

4.37-5.00 AM
Think that every car is a police car because im battered but live 20mins drive on the dual carrage way away and i have no money to stay in the main town.

5.00-5.30 AM
- Die on the toilet ... I must have eaten something dodgy.
- Didnt really eat before i came out so cant be that :/

5.30 - 7.30AM
SLEEEEEEEEPPPP

7.30-9.30
-Get ready for work
-Drive to work
-Still Drunk as a skunk

9.30 - Present
-Hanging out of my bumm

I had such a good time and i LOVE it.

I missed it, The getting drunk not having a care in the world, nobody to answer to/

(Just to let you know because i was meeting people i didnt really know, Had only met the boss guy once for an interview, i was texting my friend every hour as to were i was etc just incase)

-Love C
xxxxxxxx

p.s IM BACK

My theory

So i realised i havent posted in a while, ive been super busy at work bla bla (boring stuff)

 SO i was thinking, how many fat people do you see smiling while walking around? 

You dont because there always out of breath.

How many skinny girls do you see smiling while walking around?

Pretty much all of them, even if there alone. 

I want to be able to have a constant smile fixed to my face.

Managed to loose as i went up to 138 yesterday. so back down to 137.4lbs. 

pretty much only ate fruit yesterday. and have a portion of chips at 1am as i was starving from no dinner. 

im still on my antibiotics so i cant drink but you know what, i feel better today, i still had a good night out, and i didnt gain any weight because i danced it all off and didnt have any alcohol calories! 

Same again tonight so im looking for another loose. i hope. 

Have to go for lunch with the girls but not being hungover im not dying for food, think im just going to go there for the company. 

I enjoyed having one of the guys who 2 of the girls in the group know well and bought him out started talking to me saying how skinny im getting. 

I hadnt realised he goes to the gym everyday. arrives 30mins before i leave if im late or just as im finishing in the gym. And he was saying how i look different everytime. (that my boobs look bigger when im not in gym clothes as i must have an extremly tight sports bra - then had to explain to him what a push up bra was!) I really liked it, hes my new best friend. Anybody who thinks im slimming down is my new best friend. 

Do you hate the way people who notice you lost weight saying but you wernt fat to begin with? If i wasnt fat to begin with how have i managed to loose 20lbs and still have more left on me to go? if there wasnt anything to loose how have i done that?

I think girls have a side motive. They dont want you to get skinnier than them because that then means they have to do some work so they remain the hot skinny friend and dont turn into the 'fat friend'

Sorry this post is a bit of a ramble! 

Stay strong and Think Thin

<3

-C

Such a terrible blogger

So the main reason ive been so bad at blogging is that i put on 3lbs over the weekend and ive been trying desperatly to loose it all. 

Currently at 139.4lbs

I will get lower. 

I dont understand how i didnt loose more weight. 

1 hour at the gym and then an hour step class. 

My thighs were burning. 

how did i loose 0.2lbs? 

Ive been down to 136lbs therfore i know my body can get to it. 

All ive eaten today is soup:125kcals. 

Im not planning on eating much more. 

Perhaps some fruit after the gym and before legs bums and tums. 

Other than that nothing. 

Thinking of taking a laxi before LBT and so for tomorrow morning it will all flow out. 

Last time i took it before bed it didnt kick in untill the middle of the next day. perhaps i need to take more than 2. 

Ill try 3. Whats the harm?

i cant believe ive put all the weight back on.

I have to go out clubbing on saturday as a old friend is leaving to go do a season abroad for the summer. I was discussing with a friend that i dont want to go because i hate the hangovers. She mentioned that I never used to get hangovers because i used to vomit at the end of the night wether i needed to or not. because i hated the feeling of going to sleep drunk. 

Why did i stop doing that? sounds like a great habbit to get back into. Drink alcohol have my chips then when i get home lean over the toilet and let it all come out. I could do it in the street straight after food if i wanted to infront of all my friends. Nobody would suspect a thing! Even at home in the privacy of my own toilet, i wont have to worry about putting the shower on to mask the noise of my choking while i slide my fingers further down my throat. I can simply say, i feel really ill but its not working, im going to make myself sick and they will smile and accept it and not think anything of it! 

If i do that i dont need to make sure i have a slice of bread of something before i drink to line my stomach. I can leave it empty and just vomit the whole night every time i feel im getting just a bit too drunk. 

Maybe i wont even drink that much as the alcohol will hit my empty stomach harshly making one drink tip me into drunk. 

Sorry for all of this talk. I just dont know anymore. 

The scales arent moving much anymore, im not noticing a difference in my body.

I need to see something change. if my weight doesnt move why arnt i seeing toning going on on my belly or legs?

Why is there just no difference. 

Ahhh im going to stop now as im rambling and making bad reading. 

Sorry. 

-C 

EVIL SCALES

 

140.6lbs

Scales are just pure evil!

I want to be off my period .. all this pms stuff is making me super emotional. 

Went out clubbing on the saturday and ended up crying just because R ran into his ex girlfriend from about 7 years ago and introduced me to her. Yes it was really awkward and i would have prefered to not to have made small talk. But it would have looked 10,0000000times worse if i said hi got up and walked away. 

Dont mind him talking to her, i just personally dont want to be talking to her.

Saturday i didnt eat a thing.

Woke up at 6am and didnt eat untill 8pm as planned.
But then boy did i stuff my face when the chinese came. 

amazed i went the whole day without food and didnt even feel light headed etc. 

lets try today! 

Sunday however: Super hungover!

All day breakfast in the morning. did however have a 'no' pile which i got laughed at for. Fried eggs and bacon went in it. ate the sausages chips and beans. WTF, should have skipped the chips and had the egg whites. 

THEN came the flapjacks. and the mini eggs. Oh i do hate easter. 

Been good and havent had bread since ive come back from Norway though.

Hate how im back up to 140. I NEED to get to atleast 136'137lbs by the end of the weeek. 

Acheivable? YES!

-C