Thursday, 23 February 2012

I Just want to starve untill everything gets better!

So i did OK with food yesterday, and went to the gym ... think i had just under 600cals and i still gained! Its impossible to to gain anymore! 

Researched foods to increase my calories without gaining so i can get up to 1000 and then drop back down to 500. just kick start my body again. 

So today ive had 1 banana and 1 rice cake. 

Going to the toby carvery this evening for R's dads birthday. 

Sticking to white meats and going to try and go healthy! 

Found out we have a work department meeting on Monday....we NEVER have meetings so its only going to be bad. 

Im also not here so im panicking even more. 

We all think its a consultation for redundancy! 

Not good. 

So i cant do my job right, i cant loose weight right, i just cant do anything right. 

Exercise makes me put on weight ... and no i dont weight my self after, i weigh in the morning after a nice sleep! 

Its getting worse and worse. 

Skiing holiday starting on Saturday .. this is only going to go badly! 

Ergh, why cant i loose. 

I can see myself getting up to 145lbs before being able to drop well into the 130's. 

I couldnt drop to below 300cals, tried that on the ABC-i just binged lots. 

My weight is fluctuating sooo much, and the stupid graph on Caloriecount is not helping my motivation. 

JUST ERGH! 

-C

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