Midnight and I'm back at R's after a nice night out with the girls, unfortunately it ended up with me eating half a garlic pizza bread with cheese! If half a normal pizza is around 435 then this has to be about 550-600. Total of 900 and something not including the alcohol consumed!
All i can think about is going to purge after my binge, but I can't!!
This is torture! What am I ment to do? Lay here and let the fat just settle!! Up early in the morning as he has work, ill just have to mia what's left... if there is anything- 7hrs and 30mins counting!!!
Can't believe I let this happen...hate myself for it!
R is getting auspicious, asked if I was. starving myself earlier (obviously denied it) were not even bf and gf and he's worrying about me. Could he be more perfect..also asking me what site I blog on so he can read it, thank god I have two (normal and proana) didn't tell him though. It's like giving him my diary!
Anyway must sleep.
Dreading the damage I've done to my body!
Think thin, don't make my terrible mistake tonight!!
-C
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