So tonight im felling a little bit down, had to spend the day with my mum to try and cheer her up and help her through her depression. (its so strange seeing your mum go through something you have been through, deffinitly made me never want to go back to how i was, i know how horrible it can be)
went and saw war horse ... anybody who is planning on seeing it, seriously take some tissues. It is so sad!
R is being perfect lately however he is haviung second doubts about us being together. He says he has had a sudden realisation that we both live in two completly different words, me the posh rich world and him the not so much. But what different does it make when he makes me happy and all i want to do is be with him and show him off to my parents which he most deffinitly does not want to do.
I dont want to force him into anything!
Still on a slightly heavier weight ... dont want to even admit the weight i am, it just feels sooo heavy and that ive let you guys down. Think back to when i was 158lbs, sooo happy im not that anymore but my current weight still feel obese to that!
Ended up with my head in a toilet after tonight, yes i have been drinking but i dint have to! i just couldnt help myslef! onl.y really had a tuna baguette for luch time as i was with my mum.
fingers crossed ive lost tomorrow, i bloodey hope i have!
had to get ready quickly tonight and ended up at my friends house not ready and having to try on a ton of her tops. Was horrible trying on a ton of size 8 tops with my boobs and arms too big! She was saying i look good in all these tops when infact they were uncomfortable and too tight. Didnt tell her though just smilled and said thank you.
went and saw war horse ... anybody who is planning on seeing it, seriously take some tissues. It is so sad!
R is being perfect lately however he is haviung second doubts about us being together. He says he has had a sudden realisation that we both live in two completly different words, me the posh rich world and him the not so much. But what different does it make when he makes me happy and all i want to do is be with him and show him off to my parents which he most deffinitly does not want to do.
I dont want to force him into anything!
Still on a slightly heavier weight ... dont want to even admit the weight i am, it just feels sooo heavy and that ive let you guys down. Think back to when i was 158lbs, sooo happy im not that anymore but my current weight still feel obese to that!
Ended up with my head in a toilet after tonight, yes i have been drinking but i dint have to! i just couldnt help myslef! onl.y really had a tuna baguette for luch time as i was with my mum.
fingers crossed ive lost tomorrow, i bloodey hope i have!
had to get ready quickly tonight and ended up at my friends house not ready and having to try on a ton of her tops. Was horrible trying on a ton of size 8 tops with my boobs and arms too big! She was saying i look good in all these tops when infact they were uncomfortable and too tight. Didnt tell her though just smilled and said thank you.
Why cant i be the size she is, shes only 2-3" smaller than me, i shoould be closer to her size than i am, not this huge fat piece of lard pretending i can fit into her clothes.
tomorrow i have a family outing to a family friends house, thank god they are very into their health as T's mum used to be a model, T has an amazing body i wish i had too! She is just perfect, a nice petite but curvy skinny type of body.
Makes me want to cry slightly!
Right bed time!
Think Thin
- C
Think Thin
- C
OMG, I wouldn't know what to do if my mom should go through things I went through myself (I suffer from anxiety disorder). She's my source of strenght, and I don't think I could make it without her. I can barely take care of myself :/
ReplyDeleteYou're strong and nice supporting her, I admire you.
Kiss, Jay :)
Luckily my mum is strong and would never admit defeat. If i needed her i know she would be strong enough to hold mine, but i just cant do that to her. Just have to make sure she never find out any of my problems and keep visiting her and making her happy :)
DeleteThank you for the kind words! I LOVE your blog.
-C
xx